This is an engaging question and you have framed it with some care.
How much of the stimulation of sex with others is spurred by a psychological excitement of the process and activity rather than by the sheer sex?
Arguably, the ‘how much’ locates the response on a spectrum between two poles and then asks ‘where do we draw the line.’
For this preliminary reply, I would ask whether this might not differ from person to person. No two psycho-sexual personalities are identical. We all react to stimuli, nut not necessarily to the same stimuli. Moreover, when we DO react to the same stimuli, we undoubtedly do so from the perspective of our unique experiences.
We can speak of fetishes because we recognize a commonality of factors related to particular interests. But there are undoubtedly any number of variations within a fetish, be it foot worship, adult nursing or whatever.
Some of this is sociological. Vampirism has no objective basis in reality, and yet for some, the idea is very highly eroticized.
I have always responded very powerfully to the idea of erotic hypnosis. This was based on an old movie with an extremely voluptuous hypnotist that I saw when I was 11. For me, that hit like crack! On the other hand, many younger people were drawn into this on the basis of an animated cartoon — a scene in Jungle Book where Caw [a serpent] lulls unsuspecting victims into hypnotic ...... before eating them.
Kudos to the original poster! I look forward to seeing how this thread develops. I hope the ladies come forward as well. Their capacity for fantasy is the stuff of legend!
Edit: I just remembered a point made a while ago by a talented young woman who, among other things, is employed as a stripper. This kind and good person made the observation that for her, it is her fantasies that make her orgasm.
How cool is that!