Here's where I'm at...help me please.

The wife and I have been married for 12 years. She is 39 and I am 35. We've watched porn together during sex (mostly BBC porn so I could get her watching that) and I got her a BBC dildo. We did a threesome with a white guy twice in the second year of our marriage and she almost did it with a coworker of mine years ago. She feels connected during sex which makes it hard for her since she doesn't want to catch feelings for anyone else. Her libido has recently crashed due to her new anxiety medicine too. After giving up on the fantasy I finally brought it back up and started using the dildo on her when she's willing. She talks dirty about it and acts like she loves the idea but sometimes acts like it isn't her thing which it might not be. She says she isn't interested in other men but she uses the fantasy to get me off because she knows it works like nothing else. I've discussed it all with her how it could go down. I just don't know if I'm missing anything that I could be doing without being pushy about it.
 
The wife and I have been married for 12 years. She is 39 and I am 35. We've watched porn together during sex (mostly BBC porn so I could get her watching that) and I got her a BBC dildo. We did a threesome with a white guy twice in the second year of our marriage and she almost did it with a coworker of mine years ago. She feels connected during sex which makes it hard for her since she doesn't want to catch feelings for anyone else. Her libido has recently crashed due to her new anxiety medicine too. After giving up on the fantasy I finally brought it back up and started using the dildo on her when she's willing. She talks dirty about it and acts like she loves the idea but sometimes acts like it isn't her thing which it might not be. She says she isn't interested in other men but she uses the fantasy to get me off because she knows it works like nothing else. I've discussed it all with her how it could go down. I just don't know if I'm missing anything that I could be doing without being pushy about it.
My husband asked me if I thought one of his friends was hot he knew I did and He’s been fucking me for the past 8 yrs