You get a lot of respect from me for being genuinely remorseful for what you did. So far, you have not hurt your husband by not telling him. If there is no way, no how he will ever find out, you will need to decide if you're going to keep it to yourself. In my opinion, the first kind of counseling you need to go to is about your drinking. I'll venture to say you probably never would have cheated if you had been sober. That opinion is based on all the trouble that I have had in my own life, not due to personal use of alcohol as I have never drank a drop, but because of OTHER peoples drinking. Fix that problem first and then work on forgiving yourself for cheating. I wish you the best of luck.