Haven’t gotten far. But one can hope

I’ve wanted to be cucked by my beautiful 23yo wife for quite some time now. It’s been a kink of mine since we were dating (only been married for about a year) and I mentioned to her once that I had a dream (which was obviously fake) where I caught her having sex with someone else and I walked in and caught them. And that I woke up and was fully erect. This was just to bring up this conversation. She kinda just blew it off saying I was probably dreaming in 3rd person and that person she was having sex with was just me. So we left it at that. Later that day or week we had sex and the dream came up again I forgot how or why. But I told her “what if I wanted that happened in the dream to happen in real life?” She then proceeded to freak out and say that how could I say I truly love her if I want to see her have sex with someone else. So I tried rebounding the whole situation by saying that not necessarily me watching her have sex with someone else but I could be included too like a threesome. She kinda calmed down a bit and said she wouldn’t be down because she wouldn’t want me to later on want to have a three some with her and another female. I reassured her that that wouldn’t be the case. It was left at that and days or weeks go by and we go out clubbing. She got a bit ...... and went back home and had some of the best sex I’ve ever had. This Is the part I’ve reached. Basically I was using a dildo on her in doggy style and she tells me to stick my dick in her ass! The dildo still inside her. So I try but unfortunately did not succeed because we had no lube. So that’s where I’m at. That was about 9 or so months ago. The biggest change now is that we have since had a baby and I think that night was when we conceived him. So that’s my situation. Do I bring it up again? Is it a lost cause? I need advice!