Exactly. and the dynamic is that I love him and have no interest in humiliating him. We have some shared kinks that we both enjoy, but I would never forse my fantasy on him if he wasn't willing. that's what I don't get about many people on this sight; the selfish attitude about their spouse and the sense of entitlement for any sexual proclivity that they may imagine. He's my husband, not my play toy. If he doesn't want to do something, I respect that. Of course we discuss it. But I've received several comments about how I should find another husband or do it without him!!! That's not the way it works in a real marriage. You both compromise and sacrifice, but you don't forse the other to do something they don't like. Unless you are a cuck, a sub or some other variant of sexual behavior that I'm not up to date on. My hubby is not any of those. He just likes to watch. I like to give him a show. It works. Fantasies are just that. Most never come to fruition. Life is cruel. (Sorry Andy, none of this was aimed at you, just responding to all the people with stupid responses, lol).