Going out with shy gf. Any advices?

[calamarito]

You might have read my gf is quite shy so we are still far from a cuckolding lifestyle but I want to make her more and more open.

Lately I found out she was using Tinder but could not figure out anything else.

We spent the weekend at the beach and we had some discussions that I tried to leverage.

She said most of the bf of her girlfriends won't let them take sexy pics in bikini on the beach and would completely disallow them to post them on social networks. I told her she can take sexy pics and do whatever she wants with it. She is free person I will never disallow her. I told her she looks so sexy so is nice if she can take sexy pics. I also told many guys will text her in instagram and I told I want to know what they say. I told her I am interesting in knowing if a guy tell her she is pretty as she'd look sexy. She did not reply to any of my comments. i.e. she did not say anything. So at least she was receptive.

During dinner we went to a restaurant and suddenly, out of nothing she said "oh wow so handsome guy, omg he is so handsome" then she showed me who was the guy etc. The dude was a young boy, with her family. So nothing that I could do on site. But I could see she was so much into him. I made a joke "I will go to talk to him and tell him you want his phone number". She laugthed a bit. I kind of repeated the same joke around a couple of times. I said I wanted to see that a guy talks her up, she would look sexy. She only laugthed a bit. Then did not say anything. She is rather silent.

Later on we were on the beach an ...... a cocktail. I told her the same joke again, I will look for the guy and tell her she wants his phone number. And asked her what would she do. She said she'd be shy. Then asked her, imagine the handsome guy comes to you and asks you your number, what would you do. Then, she said, laughing but in total honesty "I will definitely hang it over to him!" She was laughing like she is joking but she sounded totally honest. I got a hardon.

During the week I texted her and asked if she had published her sexy pics in instagram or not. She said yes but no guy texted her (I doubt it!). I told her I am interesting in seeing a guy text her up, I find she'd be sexy. She did not say anything.

Ok, I think far from cuckold but progressing.

So tomorrow we plan to go for dinner then I want to go to a club and make her drink just a bit. She is not a heavy drinker in principle.

Question: Any ideas that could work out things? I thought about telling her I want to see her dancing with another guy, telling her she'd look so pretty dancing with another guy and want to see her. Also though telling her I go to the toilet and leaving her alone for some minutes and see what happens, if a guy approaches her or not.

Ps: She is very young and very pretty and hot body.

Ps: Please, stop harashing me with picture requests. I am not into pic exchange.

 

[the_good_husband]

Hi. I don't think you are so far. She having Tinder means that while it may be just curiosity, her fantasies have not been replaced by monotony. Try not to be pushy, and even harder, not to be controlling. It is so easy to be controlling under the disguise of "being open". Plant the seed but don't become boring, or repetitive, or she will jump on the defensive.

 

[calamarito]

Cool, I know it. I meant I am far.

 

[Mark30]

Let us know what happens!

 

[calamarito]

I had little ...... and two busy days. I think we will just have dinner. Let's see.

 

[calamarito]

So that day nothing out of normal happened. I mean, we went shortly to a club. I was extremely tired. Of course I had my fantasies that one of the guys there would flirt with her but nothing happened.

Anyway something interesting happened today.

Sometime ago I went to some social events where people practice languages. Since my girlfriend wanted to improve her English I told her long time ago she should attend. But I saw the event was not organized any more. Suddenly I saw today that they are organizing it again. So I texted my girlfriend and told her she could attend tomorrow. But she'd have to go either alone or with her girlfriend because tomorrow I will be busy.

Then I said, if you go, sure all foreigners will want to talk you up. She just sent an icon laughing. Then I waited a minuted and added: If they talk to you, will you answer? She said "yes" but in a way that it sounded she would kind of flirty talk to them if they happen to talk her up. Then I answered "Great, if you talk with another dudes you would look so pretty"

She told me during our last trip overseas there were 9 guys talking her up in instagram. I asked what did they say. She pasted the messages. Nothing amazing but guys telling she is so pretty, is she around etc. I asked what did she answer? She said she did not answer any of them. I asked if they were handsome. She said some handsome some not handsome.

Then I said, next time if a handsome guy talks her up she should answer, she will look so pretty if a guy comes to talk her up. I said I would like to see a guy talking her up. Then she said why would you want your gf to talk to other dudes. I said because if I see another dude talking to her I feel she is more attractive.

Till now it was great but now comes the part where I got a bit surprised. Then she said something like "if you let me talk to another dude and I turn out to love him, you will need to accept that I go with him since you are the one who made me talk to him". Then I said oh, but I think you will not love him by just chatting up. Then she said she feels if she flirts with another dude then she might love him and want to go with him. I did not know what to answer so I said ok, if you really really would love him then I would accept since you have to be with the person you want.

 

[calamarito]

Then I said I love her etc. Then, to make the story short she said she chooses to not to talk to other dudes because she might like them and want to go with them, i.e. that would risk we break up.

Any advice? I could say it is fine, I accept the risk with all the consequences. But maybe for now just wait some days to continue the talk. What do you guys think?

She did not mention anything about me seeing other girls. So seems that's not an issue. i.e. she seems not worried.

 

[hassel10]

I think leaving her alone from time to time is a wise thing to do. It may increase her sense of atractiveness, one thing leads to another. I believe the important thing is not to push. And for this, it's important that she is fully aware that she actually can, that her mindset is open for it to happen. You could start a rating game with her, get her to rate guys for fun. It can be a way of getting her closer.
Didn't see your last post. She obviously is taking care of your realtionship.

 

[calamarito]

Exactly.
I think today it was a really big step forward. I think she is fully aware now that I enjoy positively that she flirts with other guys.
Yes from time to time I ask her if a dude is handsome etc. Thing is, the feedback is positive. She said one dude is hansome and when I asked her, if the dude comes and asks your phone, would you give it to him? She said "hell yes" and I had a hardon

 

[calamarito]

I have to make some clarification.
I think she is not worried about me and other girl because in our conversations I only stated that I wanna her to chat up with other dudes. i.e. I did not explicitly said I want her to get sex with them. So maybe that is why. And I did not say it just to go step by step. If I said something like that she'd be shocked. But I hope she gets to understand later on that if she has physical contact with the dude, I like it even more.

 

[calamarito]

So I jerked off after the talking so I could not progress much.
But I told her I do not wanna her just to stay with me because we are together. Something like that. Then she said she loves me. All in all not much more progress respect with what I wrote before.
It is however a memorable day. The seed is planted and I hope she will get the following points:
* I do not find it exciting only her talking to the guys but actually more than that.
* Flirting/dating another dude does not mean she has to love him. I think this is the difficult part. According to her if she will flirt with him she'll have to love him and end up broking with me. But I believe this is because of a very traditional education. Not sure.

 

[Bigcockslut]

Just don’t push her. She is working slowly at becoming more open about it. Don’t push her but continue to talk open to her about it.

 

[calamarito]

Exactly. Right now I do just inform her that I really get turned on if she flirts with other guys. So by now she knows that I get horny by her talking to dudes. But I never directly tell her to do it. So my hope is that one day she sees a guy she wanna flirt with, and won't hold back since she knows that turns me on. Let's see.

 

[sam4fun]

i agree with most of the replies above. Try explaining her your fantasies. We gals love to hear it. ALthough we may say..shuut upp n all.
i sometimes by mistake keep my screen on in fron tof my hubby with all of the comments here on my thread and that really akes him hard.

 

[calamarito]

Hahah ok. So by now she knows. But I think she might be not interested in this fantasy or too shy to go any further at all. Not sure how to proceed.