Sinsnap, that’s a great overview. While the Internet has made it possible, even easy for us to talk to others who share our interests, it’s seldom about “sharing interests” any more. It’s about directing traffic to a site where videos are sold. And the $$$ sites have found that flouting the bbc concept attracts married guys with obsessive fantasies having nothing to do with their wife’s pleasure or sexual growth – married guys who will open their wallet, but probably don’t have the skill or nerve to articulate their fantasy for their real wife. It seems that every homemade “amateur” vid is monetized at some point and follows the same formula.
Some of the pro-am stuff is way better in terms of video quality (breathtaking closeups!) and the general environment than anything we’d ever be able to pull off on our own. Sadly, the “homemade” designation has also been co-opted by those seeking to portray themselves as amateurs but who are actually making $$$ selling vids. My wife and I learned the hard way when we posted our pic on Tumblr – it was ripped within seconds. Knowing what we (wife and I) know now – making a video will distract a couple from having the best possible sex and hubby as a “director” isn’t the way for a wife to relax and enjoy sex. Put the camcorder, STFU and our wives will enjoy the sex a lot more. Especially if we aren’t ordering them to “push it out.”
All of that said, what paved the way for us to invite other men into our marriage was my wife’s honesty and our ability articulate our interests in a non-threatening way. She took a bold first step and shared with me that there was a guy at work……
It’s really tough for younger marrieds share their needs with one another, but it’s the key. We’ve been married over 30 years now and at this age are wishing we’d been even more active going down the trail. Long term relationships with her lovers (three of them) are what worked best for us.
