First Time

[atantonov]

In my experience, I had to be there in the beginning and see everything. It was like, what am I getting out of this life style if I can’t watch. But I found out quickly, a lot of guys don’t like being watched, and I had to start dealing with FOMO. Once I worked through that and new my girl would tell me everything, and I get to see things hear and there….It ending up just as good if not better. Now instead of FOMO , the anticipation of the story drives me nuts and I can’t get enough of it.

What is FOMO?

 

[uslover609]

What is FOMO?

fear of missing out

 

[atantonov]

fear of missing out

I have a FOMO on you!

 

[atantonov]

fear of missing out

Thanks for info!

 

[atantonov]

Doesn’t sound like it is right for you, it sounds like you want things to be exactly on your terms. You need to have a calm conversation with your wife, explaining what you had hoped for and ask her what she wants. She may have just taken the suggestion and when an opportunity presented itself went along with it to see how she felt.

It could be that she didn’t want to take things any further and didn’t mention the encounter in order to pretend it never happened, worried you would get upset, seems she might have been right.

It could be that you have sown the seed in her mind that she would like to experiment with other people but is uncomfortable with doing it on your terms. I f this is the case, you will have to agree with each other if the two of you are going to continue with a ‘normal’ exclusive relationship or if you are willing to cut the head off the green eyed monster and give her the freedom to do things her way.

On the other hand it could just be a misunderstanding that she thought she was doing something that would excite you but didn’t.

No matter what the reason, do not get mad with her, be kind and discuss it like adults. If you get mad with her and she was trying to please you, she will hate you for putting her in the situation and then berating her when she got it wrong. If you get mad with her and she has already decided she wants the adventur, she may say stuff you and do it anyway behind your back, and there will never be any trust between you.

Most important, if you have already argued about it, apologise to her for overreacting and tell her how important she is to you and that is why you got upset, then offer to have a proper discussion about it, and make sure you listen carefully to her point of view. Don’t just dismiss anything she says, try and understand her point of view and explain how your expectations differ.

Could it be that she didnt like the encounter and that is why she is not talking about it?

 

[BarebackWife]

Could it be that she didnt like the encounter and that is why she is not talking about it?

She, may have liked the encounter but couldn’t cope with feelings of guilt and a general sense of being morally wrong. Or she may not have enjoyed the encounter and decided she wanted to try and forget it ever happened. Either way some people like to talk about their experience with someone they trust, others just try to pretend it never happened and move on.

In this situation, if she felt under pressure from her husband, she would not talk about it with him. The last thing she wants if things went bad for her is to tell her husband, who is likely to to try and persuade her to try again, or be mad at her because he wasn’t part of it. She probably wouldn’t tell her friends for fear of being judged, so probably feels the best thing to do is not say anything to anyone and try to deflect any further suggestions from her husband.

I felt enormous guilt my first time, having bareback sex with the delivery driver in the hallway of my own home, was an enormous step for me having been brought up in a strong religious family and therefore ,
’saved myself‘ for my husband up until then. I would never tell anyone who knows me what I did, and probably would have never done it again if it wasn’t for the fact that the visits from the delivery driver became a regular thing and I felt more at ease with myself after a while.

 

[atantonov]

She, may have liked the encounter but couldn’t cope with feelings of guilt and a general sense of being morally wrong. Or she may not have enjoyed the encounter and decided she wanted to try and forget it ever happened. Either way some people like to talk about their experience with someone they trust, others just try to pretend it never happened and move on.

In this situation, if she felt under pressure from her husband, she would not talk about it with him. The last thing she wants if things went bad for her is to tell her husband, who is likely to to try and persuade her to try again, or be mad at her because he wasn’t part of it. She probably wouldn’t tell her friends for fear of being judged, so probably feels the best thing to do is not say anything to anyone and try to deflect any further suggestions from her husband.

I felt enormous guilt my first time, having bareback sex with the delivery driver in the hallway of my own home, was an enormous step for me having been brought up in a strong religious family and therefore ,
’saved myself‘ for my husband up until then. I would never tell anyone who knows me what I did, and probably would have never done it again if it wasn’t for the fact that the visits from the delivery driver became a regular thing and I felt more at ease with myself after a while.

I have had some very bad sexual experiences. After such bad sex, I schowered for maybe an hour hoping to wash the bad feeling in my chest and I also blocked the memories of that experience in my brain!

 

[Stebro]

Thanks for all the comments guys, it's helped alot coming from your perspectives.
I just hope I haven't burned the bridge already. Think I did expect things to happen perfectly in my head but this is obv a scenario things will alter continuously.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Yeah, it often doesn't go according to the script. I worry when I see people posting about their list of rules and how the wife is not allowed to have feelings and must report them and end the relationship etc etc.

Whether she did something off script or not, the reality of this often hits differently than the fantasy, and that can come as a surprise at first. In my experience, it gets easier, but it has never gone away. Like actors who say they'd worry if they didn't have stage fright for a performance, I think if I didn't have any angst about my wife giving herself so intimately and completely to another man, the thrill would be gone.

 

[2wheel]

Sometimes the sizzle s better than the steak.

IMHO "I always told her to message or tell me if anything happens" is a very broad brush stroke and feels doomed to fail.

 

[BostonCouple]

Honestly if she just did it without even telling you I think that is pretty much just cheating

 

[Fazeldex]

I told my wife about my hotwife fantasy years ago. We have talked during sex about it. She's messaged guys online and showed me, sending pics etc. Recently she went out and I didn't hear from her all night until she arrived at her friend's home near our house. She said she was on her way home but had to drop her friend off. I looked out the window and seen her kissing someone. It felt more like cheating that hotwife as I had no involvement at all and I wasn't meant to see.
Left me very confused and upset and also confusing for her about my reaction.
I am interested in people's opinions as now she has said hotwife is totally off now...no chance of anything ever again.

Im sure it hurt to see the way u described it. But, did ur dick get hard or twitch a little ? Did u talk to her about it ?

 

[Fazeldex]

I told my wife about my hotwife fantasy years ago. We have talked during sex about it. She's messaged guys online and showed me, sending pics etc. Recently she went out and I didn't hear from her all night until she arrived at her friend's home near our house. She said she was on her way home but had to drop her friend off. I looked out the window and seen her kissing someone. It felt more like cheating that hotwife as I had no involvement at all and I wasn't meant to see.
Left me very confused and upset and also confusing for her about my reaction.
I am interested in people's opinions as now she has said hotwife is totally off now...no chance of anything ever again.

Im sure it hurt to see the way u described it. But, did ur dick get hard or twitch a little ? Did u talk to her about it

 

[Fazeldex]

She, may have liked the encounter but couldn’t cope with feelings of guilt and a general sense of being morally wrong. Or she may not have enjoyed the encounter and decided she wanted to try and forget it ever happened. Either way some people like to talk about their experience with someone they trust, others just try to pretend it never happened and move on.

In this situation, if she felt under pressure from her husband, she would not talk about it with him. The last thing she wants if things went bad for her is to tell her husband, who is likely to to try and persuade her to try again, or be mad at her because he wasn’t part of it. She probably wouldn’t tell her friends for fear of being judged, so probably feels the best thing to do is not say anything to anyone and try to deflect any further suggestions from her husband.

I felt enormous guilt my first time, having bareback sex with the delivery driver in the hallway of my own home, was an enormous step for me having been brought up in a strong religious family and therefore ,
’saved myself‘ for my husband up until then. I would never tell anyone who knows me what I did, and probably would have never done it again if it wasn’t for the fact that the visits from the delivery driver became a regular thing and I felt more at ease with myself after a while.

So exciting to read ! Ty. Do u have stories or posts here ?