I know most people come here to live out their cuck fantasies and don't really care about a dialogue, but here's my honest perspective, take it or leave it.
My wife and I do this because it's fun and brings some excitement and enjoyment into our life. I'm average sized at best, but my wife and I have great sex 3-4 times a week usually. My wife was always a wild one... had a period where she only dated black guys, had the train ran on her multiple times by BBCs, went to frat bro orgies, you name it. So you know she loves sex. Despite that, she will take sex with me over anyone else. We've had bulls come up to us at parties in the past and who would immediately try to cuck me based on assumptions. Before I could even explain that I'm more of a stag (hate all these labels) and don't do cuck whatsoever, she'd have already told them off. There is no humiliation on our end. Some people don't get it and will say we are only partially into the lifestyle. Yeah, really don't give a ...... about those opinions. Why? Because its our relationship, and we choose to bring people into it and share in our fun.
We used to be more into swinging, but that changed when I realized I didn't get the same enjoyment out of fucking other women like I do with my wife. So even when I'm offered to swap, I 99/100 times (there's a unicorn every once in a while) end up saying no thanks, but if wifey is feeling you, you're more than welcome to take her out.
We've been at this for about 7-8 years now. If I told my wife tonight that I was done with this hobby and wanted to stop, she'd say ok great, what's next? I'd do the same for her. We've done a lot of crazy and awesome ...... together; backpacked across a lot of Europe, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, lived in the Caribbean's for a while to help with hurricane efforts, etc. What we do here is just another one of those adventures, and once we feel like it's done, we will move on to the next chapter. Maybe have kids, move somewhere to settle down, who the hell knows?
In short, I hear and appreciate your concerns about pleasuring your wife; that's your role as her husband. Whether you guys get into sharing or not, that's a conversation for you two to work out. If you guys love each other, this can strengthen the relationship in ways you can only imagine. Life is too short to keep your thoughts from your partner.