perhaps. although that did not faze my wife. yes, it took work convincing her but once it happened, she went all out.
silveranklet
Couple
This is encouraging to hear.
Did you take any specific steps to convince her?
How long did it take her?
specific steps?? yes of course. we are asians in an asian country so the lifestyle is not accepted. worse still, in my country, it is almost illegal. couple this with the fact that she comes from a religious family (so did i actually). but we were young and on our own.
i was very keen to get into the swinging lifestyle. there were many private groups operating and i was really excited with it.
but, in truth, this is not something you can bring up, out of the blue. i mean if you know your wife well, and she is promiscuous, then fine. if not you need to begin with gentle mind-set changes. now, my wife wasnt a prude or anything. she knows how to dress well and look sexy. but this was total left-field.
so, my first part was 'mind-set' change. this is important. youre not just coming out to ask her to fuck someone. those things are almost always met with a NO. a mind set change does not impose your point of view. it just guides her to a possibility. it takes time, sustained effort, and awareness to tip the scales
first, the impt question is whether she is able to fantasise. this is never an easy question to answer as it involves many factors. most impt of which is whether she IS able to at the very least, fantasise with you. This is key towards progress.
and she was so this was a very good sign. the thoughts are there and you must slowly nurture them. you need patience, persistence and always non-pushy. 3 very important elements.
1. patience and persistence. these are tools to help you achieve this.
2. non-pushy. you must be very very patient in getting your fantasy to be a reality. always let her think she is in control of it. this means that if she does not want to talk or fantasise anymore, stop. respect her wishes. start again another time. but be persistent. she will give in eventually.
this is a slow and steady process and your Mrs MUST always have the feeling that she is in control. ALWAYS! This reassures her that should she want to stop, IT WILL BE STOPPED. only then will she trust you.
3. AGAIN REMEMBER that the focus here is your wife. not you and what you desire her to do for you (please understand this as they will learn the truth).
this was one of the methods i used on my wife......
my wife loves to suck cock. she really loves it as she can go for an hour or more just sucking on me. and you will only enjoy having your cock sucked IF the person sucking enjoys what she is doing. i should know this as im her hubby. she loves to swallow too. and not the porn you watch type where they spit it out! she love to taste it and swallow (i suppose this was the thing that turned me bi too as i loved watching her do it so much that i too got hooked).
so during my convincing her to join a swing party, i bought a vibrator and when she was sucking my cock, i used the vibrator on her. now when she sucks she is in heaven and then applying the vibe on her pussy was the ultimate for her. i used that moment to fantasise that it was a mutual friends. an american guy that we knew (she is partial to white men). this method me a great deal in convincing her that another cock or cocks would be great in our sex life. so i did this time and time again. this was the persistent part. as long as she likes sex, half the battle is won.
about 4th month - the reluctance soon gave way. and she began to allow me to talk to her about a third person.
about 8th month - then i began to ask her things. and she answered!!
with this i knew i was doing the right things.
10th month - while having sex SHE asked for the vibrator.
after a year of some hard work she finally agreed to join in a swing party. and the rest is history. this was the patience part.
she enjoyed herself at the party. and it was enjoyable to watch her too.
we began with swinging, then moved gradually (as my cuckold side began to emerge) to threesomes and finally cuckolding. this is something i really enjoy. i especially watching the action up close (like in fucklicking) as it is so intoxicating.
additionally, compliment her dressing, her beauty, her sexiness. and do it truthfully. women can tell if you are bull-shitting or theres something behind the compliments. send her flowers, chocolates at her workplace. let her feel proud in front of her friends, family.
this is an entire package of things you need to do. men are different. we only want 1 thing. with women it takes many things. and your heart.
so i did all these things to convince, cajole and encourage my wife. it took me more than a year before she agreed to join me in a swing party. happiest moment of my life.
dan
silveranklet
Couple
Thank you, Dan,
For your very comprehensive answer and your best-of recommendation to make it happen.
Mine is well underway of the mind-set change I believe, but I am also aware that it still requires time. She does not want to appear to be slutty, but want to preserve her good-girl image. So not being pushy and basically keeping her in control is very important.
Thanks again, Silveranklet
cheers.
inbetween this, romance her. send her flowers at her workplace. buy her stuff. does not need to be expensive. send her chocolates etc. she needs to be romanced. then she will be more receptive. work hard at this.
We are in Tokyo, and either or both of us may travel your way in the coming year. Shall we get a bit acquainted? We would also be open to meeting you here if either or both of you might travel our way.
