In our case, I had ED as a result of medication side effects - had a bad sinus cold, was put on a decongestant and anti-histamine for that. That just happened to coincide with our once every month sex. She was disappointed and talked about 'dating'. That got the idea in my head. The next month I was on Sudafed and also could not get it up. And so on. I went for allergy tests, came back that I was allergic to household dust - a year round thing. My doctor put me on pseudoephedrine full time with regular monitoring. My wife and I had a long talk about entering into a sexless marriage where she had my blessing to date. The rest as they say is history.