Everything u r saying is exactly how I feel but he says it always me and I am a fuck up. Like maybe he isn't ok with it and he gets jealous but then he insists that this has to be done. It always gets turned on me and how I am not doing things right
Am I selfish??
- Thread starter Fuckingoverit
- Start date
I would propose you tell your hubby you are hitting the pause button until you both talk and figure out what makes you both happy. Do your best to control your emotions and speak in a matter of fact tone. This is supposed to be something you both enjoy and should make your bond stronger. If it doesn’t, then it isn’t for you at this time. He may be upset at first, but hopefully he can think it through and communicate what he is looking for.
Hang in there!
May I ask how many times you have played with others? And how long have you been trying?
We played with others years agoooo there was 3 and after each of them he would tell me what I did wrong g in his eyes. It made me feel like ......! Like I never ever would have thought I would fuck other dudes while being married. In my head this is something that would never happen ever. So for him to put me down I was like well fuck it I'm not doing it anymore. We had kids his dad dies and I really just wanted to feel connected twd to him again. He had completely cut me off. He also says I left him abandoned during that time. So I started bringing up the fucking other guys to get him engaged into me and trying to bring us together again more. So I went on tinder found a guy fucked him. Then found another guy fucked him. Then found one that I liked fucking. Like we just fucked good and when I came home I was always super excited to fuck my husband because I had fun. I wanted him to have fun by me talking to him. BUT I taped every single time the whole session and voice recorded it so he had two ways of hearing and seeing. Well if I didn't get the lighting a 100 right he would freak out and then I'm a fucking bitch and I only fuck him for me. But I am only there for him. And I did like fucking him we had fun. Buy isn't that what he is suppose to want is when I go to have fun?? Not to come home and feel guilty for having fun. So then he would start taking the guy away from me. He wouldn't let me see him unless I did this and this. And I was like ok well this is dumb and I am over this like this is not fun. He made me feel.like ....... Fast forward to today. A yeaR ago I was like ok I'll do this again. Met up with a guy from tinder it was ok. Same scenerio met a guy who I like fucking we fuck like 4/5 hrs long. Amazing! When I come home the first thing I do is sit on my hubby's face or suck his dick. Or wake him up to me on top riding him. And talk about what happened during those hours while I am fucking him. Play him back parts of the studio where I am telling him this right here omg I came so fucking hard and this is what he was doing and this is how it felt......well now I fuck him for selfish reasons. So confused..... he gets video, and audio. Guy knows I'm married. He doesn't care will video. But this is not good enough 😕 what do u thibk?? And in the mean time I fuck other guys I have like 5 guys I can text and say want to fuck any night. I always am looking for new guys. I snap guys all day long pics videos and I send him the same pics and videos. But this is not good enough to him. What am I missing?
Sounds like you are doing your best. Can you be more specific on what he wants you to do differently? I suppose you could say that the other guys don’t satisfy you like he does. Maybe he wants you to see how much better he is? I’m at a loss here. I cannot see the world through the eyes of your hubby. I would be thrilled if my wife did exactly what you are doing. I love it when she comes home after a play date and jumps me. Without a doubt, that’s my very favorite time with her!
Is your husband insecure or unhappy with life? There is a very good possibility that this has nothing to do with you or your actions and everything to do with how your hubby feels. Maybe nothing is going to make him happy at this point.
He tells me he wants me to have fun enjoy the dick, crave their dick not mine. He says he wants me to be more satisfied with them then him. Like say he has a same cock to them and they fuck me better then him and then tell him that afterwards. But then he gets pissed off and says I'm selfish and I do this for me??? He says he Qantas me to cheat on him but I really don't think he could not know ehats going on cause he likes to control everything. It makes me not want to do anything if he looks at it with me being selfish. Cause if that's how he sees it I want no part of it.
Then if you don’t care about doing it stop doing it then when he bitches about you not doing it, tell him it’s you’re fault that’s why I’m done doing it
So much to unpack here so pardon me if I'm being too blunt.
Your husband is a jerk. If he won't listen to you, won't see things through your eyes, he's a jerk plain and simple. As others here have said, there are so many guys that would worship and adore you for doing this, and he wants to criticize, condemn and complain?
Stop what you're doing, okay don't stop fucking other guys if you still want to, but stop sharing everything with him. Tell him you'd gladly do this but only after you've both been to a few kink friendly counseling sessions. Someone has to make him see that he is being selfish and controlling and that you've been a saint for putting up with him. Meanwhile, go ahead and have some fun with guys that can make you enjoy sex and their company.
You don't say what your marriage status is. (Kids, investments, jobs, friends) but maybe it's you that needs to grow a pair. (Did I say blunt) Maybe you need to tell him that you're leaving him or considering it and want nothing to do with him anymore. A little separation may be just the thing he needs to get his head right and to make him realize that he is hurting you and your relationship.
Your husband is a jerk. If he won't listen to you, won't see things through your eyes, he's a jerk plain and simple. As others here have said, there are so many guys that would worship and adore you for doing this, and he wants to criticize, condemn and complain?
Stop what you're doing, okay don't stop fucking other guys if you still want to, but stop sharing everything with him. Tell him you'd gladly do this but only after you've both been to a few kink friendly counseling sessions. Someone has to make him see that he is being selfish and controlling and that you've been a saint for putting up with him. Meanwhile, go ahead and have some fun with guys that can make you enjoy sex and their company.
You don't say what your marriage status is. (Kids, investments, jobs, friends) but maybe it's you that needs to grow a pair. (Did I say blunt) Maybe you need to tell him that you're leaving him or considering it and want nothing to do with him anymore. A little separation may be just the thing he needs to get his head right and to make him realize that he is hurting you and your relationship.
It sounds like some mental illness on his part. Sure he gets turned on but then he goes into telling you that you did everything wrong and belittling you. Not sure exactly what you call that but it’s a personality disorder at best and these things rarely get better, until you threaten to leave. Could you post a sexy pic of yourself just so we can all get an idea as to what he’s missing out on? Just mentioning fucking a guy from Tinder for 4-5 hours would get me off in like 2 seconds
On one hand, I can appreciate that he is probably really excited about what you're doing and really wants to get to see some of it / feels disappointed and unfulfilled if there isn't some decent video of the action.
On the other hand, it sounds like he's being kind of a douche about it. Getting angry and critical is not an appropriate way to behave. It makes me wonder if this isn't the only area of conflict in the relationship because, this really seems like a personality issue with him, at least the way you describe it.
I expect he also probably feels like he's letting you do something that is great for you, so you owe him something big in return, when really, you could take it or leave it, and this is something he is really pushing you to do. Maybe you need to just explain that and tell him you'd rather not do it at all if he's going to be negative and critical or get upset.
Ultimately, if this is something he desperately wants you to do, then you have power there and you should leverage it (not in a bad way) but to set rules for his behavior. He should start by thanking you for what you provide him. Then if he's not totally happy, I think its fine for him to, in a diplomatic way, suggest a way it could be better but if he starts demanding or gets angry, tell him you're done.
EDIT - I wrote the first part earlier and only just got around to posting it. Reading additional stuff you posted, your husband sounds like he has a real problem that goes beyond this issue. He seems borderline emotionally abusive. What you describe just does not sound healthy, regardless of the context.
On the other hand, it sounds like he's being kind of a douche about it. Getting angry and critical is not an appropriate way to behave. It makes me wonder if this isn't the only area of conflict in the relationship because, this really seems like a personality issue with him, at least the way you describe it.
I expect he also probably feels like he's letting you do something that is great for you, so you owe him something big in return, when really, you could take it or leave it, and this is something he is really pushing you to do. Maybe you need to just explain that and tell him you'd rather not do it at all if he's going to be negative and critical or get upset.
Ultimately, if this is something he desperately wants you to do, then you have power there and you should leverage it (not in a bad way) but to set rules for his behavior. He should start by thanking you for what you provide him. Then if he's not totally happy, I think its fine for him to, in a diplomatic way, suggest a way it could be better but if he starts demanding or gets angry, tell him you're done.
EDIT - I wrote the first part earlier and only just got around to posting it. Reading additional stuff you posted, your husband sounds like he has a real problem that goes beyond this issue. He seems borderline emotionally abusive. What you describe just does not sound healthy, regardless of the context.
Last edited:
Cheat with me I voice call him live so he can here ever spank ever moaning he will love it hv no way to complain
Ask him to write his desires down. Clearly. Something like a contract. If it's on paper he can't change the script after the fact.
He sounds confused, writing things down in black and white will give you both clarity.
Related Threads
