Hey what’s up everyone. We are very new to this, the most we have ever done is a threesome, and we usually only post here when we are drinking that’s why sometimes we go a week without logging in. The million dollar question is, if we actually take the leap and do this is it going to destroy our relationship? Am I gonna lose respect for him for letting me fuck another guy, and is he gonna lose respect for me for doing it and just think I’m a slut? Surly some people here have done it and the relationship stayed great, there has probably been other couples who did it and the relationship was never the same. Interested in hearing real life experiences either whether good or bad. Please no bs ...... talkers real experiences only please
Young new couple
- Thread starter BostonCouple
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Hello! In addition to btweet's excellent question above, I'd say just be sure you talk frankly with one another and get it all on the table. If you don't discuss your needs and fantasies, you'll never realize them! Likewise, you don't want to misunderstand your boyfriend!
As your co-conspirators here in the forum, we don't know much about what each of you likes, etc. etc. but I can share with you that my wife and I both like MMF threesomes, and we liked her having sex with other guys on a fairly regular basis, with or without me participating or in the room. This might surprise you, but some of the most exciting times for me where when my wife was traveling overseas or domestically with her boss and staying in his room. These trips would last a week or more, and she'd call me each night with an update that left my hard and horny beyond anything I'd ever experienced. She understood my needs better than I did at the time!
The groove we fell into as our trust in one another grew was her having longer term lovers who satisfied her and enhanced our sex lives. So.. we just had our 30th anniversary, and during those 30 years she's had three longer term lovers (with some overlap), two for nine years and one for four. A few one or two nighters with other guys were also part of the fun. We would have played more, but work and life get in the way. "Respect" within our marriage has never suffered and my wife has thanked me many times for making it possible to love the men she's loved in addition to me. There will be duds, to be sure, but that's just part of it and can be minimized as you gain experience. If you do elect to play at some level, be sure you discuss contraception - whether or not you will use it, - you don't want to have to deal with unexpected issues.
Finally, - Re sluts: I'm much older and I think wiser now. If I had to do it all over again, I would only date "sluts" and I would only marry "sluts." Life is too short to miss out on the level of fun we deny ourselves when we worry about our images for wanting some additional fun and experiences in their relationship. I am just sorry it took me until I was in my 30s to figure it all out. 🙂))))
I guess it all depends where you are starting from and what you are looking to get out of this.
When James and I got together, he was fully aware what a slut I was (and there's really nothing wrong with being a slut if that's what both of you want!) and I knew he was bi and that he'd also had a lot of experience swinging with his first wife.
So I guess that we came at this from a different place from most people. But the thing is, we had a lot in common and both knew what we wanted in a relationship - and a relationship has to be about a lot more than just the sexual element!
So the two pieces of advice I'd give are:
1. Have a strong relationship to start with. This lifestyle can certainly stop your sex life getting into a rut but it won't fix a relationship that already as problems, just the reverse.
2. Talk about what you hope to get out of this. And then talk some more. At the start communication is the key - make sure you are both looking for the same thing. If not where is the common ground that you are both comfortable with.
For instance will you always play together or does he want a cheating slut that will go out and fuck other guys and only tell him about it later; do you want one regular guy to join you or do you want to fuck whoever you want; are you happy to play with married guys (or girls) or only single; do you care who knows about your lifestyle or do you want to keep it a secret between yourselves and the guy(s) you play with; does he want to just watch or join in; will you play bare and if so with who - just people you get to know or everyone or will you only play covered.
And that is just the start I could go on.
So talk, talk and then talk some more. The people on here who have talked about having problems tend to be the ones where each partner was looking to get something different out of this.
Can relationships survive this lifestyle? Yes, there are lots of people on here who make it work long term so read as many posts as you can but you'll also see plenty of others where it didn't work out as they expected and that caused problems. We've been married 21 years (in a relationship for about 23 and second marriage for us both) and couldn't be happier.
Lynn x
When James and I got together, he was fully aware what a slut I was (and there's really nothing wrong with being a slut if that's what both of you want!) and I knew he was bi and that he'd also had a lot of experience swinging with his first wife.
So I guess that we came at this from a different place from most people. But the thing is, we had a lot in common and both knew what we wanted in a relationship - and a relationship has to be about a lot more than just the sexual element!
So the two pieces of advice I'd give are:
1. Have a strong relationship to start with. This lifestyle can certainly stop your sex life getting into a rut but it won't fix a relationship that already as problems, just the reverse.
2. Talk about what you hope to get out of this. And then talk some more. At the start communication is the key - make sure you are both looking for the same thing. If not where is the common ground that you are both comfortable with.
For instance will you always play together or does he want a cheating slut that will go out and fuck other guys and only tell him about it later; do you want one regular guy to join you or do you want to fuck whoever you want; are you happy to play with married guys (or girls) or only single; do you care who knows about your lifestyle or do you want to keep it a secret between yourselves and the guy(s) you play with; does he want to just watch or join in; will you play bare and if so with who - just people you get to know or everyone or will you only play covered.
And that is just the start I could go on.
So talk, talk and then talk some more. The people on here who have talked about having problems tend to be the ones where each partner was looking to get something different out of this.
Can relationships survive this lifestyle? Yes, there are lots of people on here who make it work long term so read as many posts as you can but you'll also see plenty of others where it didn't work out as they expected and that caused problems. We've been married 21 years (in a relationship for about 23 and second marriage for us both) and couldn't be happier.
Lynn x
Hey Boston couple - coming to Boston next Thursday 8/12- Sunday - 8/15 interested in a threesome?
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