There is a tremendous amount of complex psychology around all of this to try and unpack.
Indeed, some need an excuse, a diversion, a circumstance, individual, or individuals to "blame it on," vis. a perceived act of taboo. Alcohol or intoxicants are a proxy - "I was ......," "I was stoned," or both... There are other forms of loss of control or autonomy, "He made me do it," "I was forced...."
Ideally, anyone, irrespective of gender, would simply be able to say, "I'm doing this because this is what I want to do." That holds true in realizing fantasies, within bounds of not harming another.
Hypotheticals include the wanna-be cuck seeing his wife ravaged by one or more men, and the possible corollary, the wife fantasizing about loss of control, given over to her desire, lust - but one, or both need an excuse... a way to let go, drop the cultural, stigmatic barriers, to just enjoy getting fucked.
The "excuse" part of the psychology is fascinating in, and of itself.