Wives/gfs, have you ever realized you took things too far or too fast for your husbands/bfs?

[coastalkid]

I realize that most people on this site are looking for masturbation fodder. Personally, I'd like some real discussion about how any alternate lifestyle successfully functions. Knowing how it really works or fails is what my brain craves.

Wives/gfs how did you feel when you realized you had done this?

I can't comprehend a wife/gf that is so heartless that she doesn't recognize when someone they love is hurt or feeling bad. I know I've read stuff like, "I know he loves it so I just do as I please. It's what he wants!" I also realize this is where communication is once again the critical aspect to success or failure.

What amplifies this is the 180 degree change in roles/feelings. Wives generally start out unsure of their attractiveness, their confidence fragile, and inexperienced. Successful wives/gfs suddenly have much greater confidence and far less concerns about themselves. From what I've read when the wife/gf enjoys the lifestyle, husbands become as insecure as the wives once were, are they still attractive to their wives, are they still wanted and valued? At first the husband/bf is encouraging his wife/gf, building her confidence and it seems to me that responsibility shifts to the wives/gfs after things get going. All the simplistic responses seem to be something like, "Well, he asked for it!", or, "He's getting his fantasy so why should I care?" Realistically, I go back to loving someone and being insensitive to them.

Have you ever gone too far?
How did you fix it, or did you?
How do you wives/gfs assure yourself that everything is cool and everyone is satisfied?

 

[generoushub]

She cheated on me for years before swinging.

 

[ChubbyGermany]

According to shocking stories I neglect to read but skim there are unfortunately A LOT of cold-hearted "pseudo-wifes" out here. More shocking is the fact that a lot of hubbies seem to enjoy that in their degradation.

 

[coastalkid]

According to shocking stories I neglect to read but skim there are unfortunately A LOT of cold-hearted "pseudo-wifes" out here. More shocking is the fact that a lot of hubbies seem to enjoy that in their degradation.

I know it is naive of me to expect the "pseudo-wives" (men posing as women) to restrain themselves from posting their fallaciously concocted stories of extreme scenarios but I anticipate them all the same. I share your shock regarding the men that DO enjoy the degradation. This kind of degradation is like horseradish to me, a little goes a long way. I can't see how a regular diet of degradation can be something desired.

I'm holding out hope that I'll see some responses from sensitive women (real women) that acknowledge the slippery slope this lifestyle can be.

 

[coastalkid]

She cheated on me for years before swinging.

What was the result of you learning that she did this?

 

[generoushub]

What was the result of you learning that she did this?

Too late really lol.

 

[Warleyalex]

She cheated on me for years before swinging.

I’ve had this too but she hates the idea of me knowing about it so won’t openly admit that she wants to swing, particularly with younger guys

 

[coastalkid]

I can’t speak for us as we haven’t played/share yet. And my wife would be conscious of my feelings.

But my brother in laws wife cheats on him all the time and has for 20 years? He knows. Is either ok with or pretends it’s not happening. But she’s always been nasty to him and really everyone. So the nasty wife not caring about the husbands feelings is real there.

I don't doubt (or deny) that there are some truly insensitive women (and men) out there. How do you know that he knows about what his wife is doing/has done? Do you ever feel like talking to him about it? Why do you suppose he seems ambivalent about her cheating?

 

[coastalkid]

I’ve had this too but she hates the idea of me knowing about it so won’t openly admit that she wants to swing, particularly with younger guys

So she knows you know but she just avoids the topic altogether? Do you know if she is still cheating?

 

[coastalkid]

One of his ...... friends and I told him she was ...... with at least 2 people we knew. Showed him proof. One lived across the street and would go over after he left for work. He never really said anything when we told him but they don’t have anything to do with all of us after that.

Not a loss on her end as she was nasty all the time anyways, but my brother in law was a fun good guy to hang with. We didn’t shame them or anything we just thought he should know. After that guys were coming out of the wood work confessing they also were ...... with her.

My guess is he’s either ok with it or just pretends it doesn’t happen. Have a few other friends who willfully ignore their wife’s ...... around as they would have to deal with it and process it sone way. Either accept it, ask her to stop or move on. Some people don’t want to make that decision so they ignore it.

I definitely understand the desire to avoid confrontation but "willfully ignoring" a problem most always results in making a bad situation worse. I am guilty myself of ignoring things I don't want to hassle with but nothing on this kind of scale. You said he is a brother-in-law. How is he related to you? I'm sure he could use a friend especially having to live day in and day out with a nasty (and not the good kind of nasty) wife. He must be miserable.

 

[coastalkid]

He’s my wife’s brother. We’ve tried over the years to reopen but he wants nothing to do with any of us. Didn’t even show up to his ...... funeral.

It’s sad but it’s all on him. His wife never liked the family or his friend so it seems this may be an issue. About 20 years ago he was planning to divorce her and he was going to move in with us. But that didn’t pan out and he’s still with her. I do know she holds their kids against him. Telling him if he leaves he will never see them again and he truly loves them and does anything for them. They are all grown now so we’ll see. He knows our doors open same with the friend whom told him too.

The other friends I have whom ignored it are all divorced now. But if they don’t want an open relationship that’s the outcome. But honestly in both instances it was the wife’s who filed.

Damn! Well, that must make your wife sad for her brother. In ways your wife had a possibly good relationship with her brother stolen from her by circumstances beyond her control (namely his insensitive wife). There must be a reason why there are so many BTB (burn the bitch) stories on Literotica. Maybe now that the kids are grown he can break free. It's too bad he has cut out the people that really and truly cared about him, at least enough to confront him with evidence, that had to be really difficult for you to do.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

The hubby should focus on doing anything and everything to make her happy and that includes her suck and fucking any cock her wants 1on1 or 3way.

 

[coastalkid]

For us it all started with a simple fantasy conversation. It started with a MFM 3some fantasy for me and hubby was more then okay with it. Let me clarify, it was a MFM, not MMF fantasy. From there we branched out to meeting other couples. Hubby was good with it but said that it not was as fulfilling for him as he is a demisexual. He told me no other women does it for him like me. We do have a few couples we know we meet with for small pool parties together and BBQs. But as for us, we fall more into the Hotwife/Vixen and Stag relationship.

We don't do humiliation or degradation. Hubby likes seeing me play with another, being part of a 3some with me and another man. He says he gets pleasure from seeing me give and receive pleasure. We have been doing it since 2019 and there really has only been one not do memorable experience. We agree at anytime, if one of us wants to stop, we stop. He knows everything that is going, as there are times I play alone, where I am going to be and who I am with. He most times can watch on our wi-fi cams if we are playing at the house and he is at work.

For us it was an engagement to an already great relationship, marriage and sex life. I would say it has been am awesome success story.

It sounds like you are very sensitive to your husband and his happiness. I'm willing to bet he knows he's a very fortunate man! It also sounds like you are very accommodating for your husband's preferences. My original question was intended for considerate women like you that may have may have gotten "carried away" and not realized it in the moment.

I realize that there are some hateful people that truly are mean spirited and don't have any respect for their spouses. Those are always the "extreme" stories/posts that you see here. That doesn't interest me (at least not like it once did).

I'm interested in the adjustments that loving and caring people (which you sound like to me) make when they enter in to this lifestyle. I cling to the idea that REAL loving and caring couples never want to see their partners REALLY hurting in any way. I'm interested in knowing what people do to make this lifestyle work for them in everyday life. It seems like there are a lot of easy mistakes to be made if you're not wise and careful enough.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

My husband is an amazing man. Without his encouragement, I never would entered into this lifestyle we are enjoying. I would never do anything to hurt him or his feelings as he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. It's not about humiliation and degradation with us as it is for others. We do it because it adds extra excitement to an already amazing relationship and marriage that we have. This lifestyle has opened up a whole new world of opportunities to us. I've certainly enjoyed doing things I would never have thought I would have done. But everything is always done with respect of my husband and feelings. I do have full reign of being able to do what I want with his permission.

Most females need more than one cock to stay happy.

 

[CONST65]

For us it all started with a simple fantasy conversation. It started with a MFM 3some fantasy for me and hubby was more then okay with it. Let me clarify, it was a MFM, not MMF fantasy. From there we branched out to meeting other couples. Hubby was good with it but said that it not was as fulfilling for him as he is a demisexual. He told me no other women does it for him like me. We do have a few couples we know we meet with for small pool parties together and BBQs. But as for us, we fall more into the Hotwife/Vixen and Stag relationship.

We don't do humiliation or degradation. Hubby likes seeing me play with another, being part of a 3some with me and another man. He says he gets pleasure from seeing me give and receive pleasure. We have been doing it since 2019 and there really has only been one not do memorable experience. We agree at anytime, if one of us wants to stop, we stop. He knows everything that is going, as there are times I play alone, where I am going to be and who I am with. He most times can watch on our wi-fi cams if we are playing at the house and he is at work.

For us it was an engagement to an already great relationship, marriage and sex life. I would say it has been am awesome success story.

I can relate to some of it mybwife as we got older felt that she wasnt atttractuve any more i told her she was wrong i will.prove it . I.told her next week.we are going out. You get dressd upnshirt skirt nice top earrings makeup.et. you walk in .I will walk in.later and sit away in case im needed . IT wasnt long guys stared hittting on her.. I guy and her really clicked
She texted me and said meet me discretely where we can talk She told ne that this guy really got her going dancing etc. In asked do you want it to. go further she asked if i was ok with that ..I told her if you want to shortly she texted ne and said they were going to a hotel. Ibwill text you when we are done that started out hotwife lifes. That was 5vyears ago and its been very rewarding for us.

 

[Dumptruckwife]

What an awesome topic! I def agree with you in regards to what I read on here verses our first experiences, ours was def more mutual and respect for each other. I’ll attach our text with each other then my wife’s with him and one of the many adventures I captured. I let her chose the guy and she chose a guy she thought was cute that worked with and has been trying to get in her panties for quite some time.

 

[Ellen_Mike]

Of all the things I’ve done, many that I felt was going too far, it’s surprising what turned out to be a deal breaker. I posted a couple of stories a few years ago about my relationship with my brother in law. I haven’t posted in a long time because I actually forgot about this website and just recently stumbled across it again. But, I fucked my brother in law, who later became my ex brother in law, for a long time with my husband’s permission. He had been wanting that for a long time and enjoyed sharing me. But, when we went on a company trip for the top sales people in his company one of his co-workers kept dancing with me at a club. At one point, we were sitting together with several people in a booth, I was between Mike and James (the other guy) and we were of course drinking heavily. James started playing with my pussy under the table while carrying on a conversation with everyone. Mike reached over and found his hand up my dress and got pissed! He immediately said it was time to go and we went back to the hotel. Later, James knocked on the door to talk to him and Mike punched him so hard it fractured his jaw and knocked a tooth out! I didn’t know that Mike hated this guy already and when we got home I tried to work it out with him but things just got worse and worse so we finally divorced in 2022. It was crushing because I loved him very much and only thought I was doing what he wanted. In the end, he couldn’t get over the idea of the smug asshole James fingering me with him sitting right there.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

Of all the things I’ve done, many that I felt was going too far, it’s surprising what turned out to be a deal breaker. I posted a couple of stories a few years ago about my relationship with my brother in law. I haven’t posted in a long time because I actually forgot about this website and just recently stumbled across it again. But, I fucked my brother in law, who later became my ex brother in law, for a long time with my husband’s permission. He had been wanting that for a long time and enjoyed sharing me. But, when we went on a company trip for the top sales people in his company one of his co-workers kept dancing with me at a club. At one point, we were sitting together with several people in a booth, I was between Mike and James (the other guy) and we were of course drinking heavily. James started playing with my pussy under the table while carrying on a conversation with everyone. Mike reached over and found his hand up my dress and got pissed! He immediately said it was time to go and we went back to the hotel. Later, James knocked on the door to talk to him and Mike punched him so hard it fractured his jaw and knocked a tooth out! I didn’t know that Mike hated this guy already and when we got home I tried to work it out with him but things just got worse and worse so we finally divorced in 2022. It was crushing because I loved him very much and only thought I was doing what he wanted. In the end, he couldn’t get over the idea of the smug asshole James fingering me with him sitting right there.

there is nothing too bad that it can not be forgiven and forgotten

 

[Flirtingcouple]

We played only few times and the first time was the one that I thought I was going too far. That was my feeling looking at my husband but my body could not stop doing what it was doing

 

[coastalkid]

Of all the things I’ve done, many that I felt was going too far, it’s surprising what turned out to be a deal breaker. I posted a couple of stories a few years ago about my relationship with my brother in law. I haven’t posted in a long time because I actually forgot about this website and just recently stumbled across it again. But, I fucked my brother in law, who later became my ex brother in law, for a long time with my husband’s permission. He had been wanting that for a long time and enjoyed sharing me. But, when we went on a company trip for the top sales people in his company one of his co-workers kept dancing with me at a club. At one point, we were sitting together with several people in a booth, I was between Mike and James (the other guy) and we were of course drinking heavily. James started playing with my pussy under the table while carrying on a conversation with everyone. Mike reached over and found his hand up my dress and got pissed! He immediately said it was time to go and we went back to the hotel. Later, James knocked on the door to talk to him and Mike punched him so hard it fractured his jaw and knocked a tooth out! I didn’t know that Mike hated this guy already and when we got home I tried to work it out with him but things just got worse and worse so we finally divorced in 2022. It was crushing because I loved him very much and only thought I was doing what he wanted. In the end, he couldn’t get over the idea of the smug asshole James fingering me with him sitting right there.

I'm truly sorry that things turned out the way they did for you. Did Mike ever show that side (violent) of himself prior to that evening? After that event were you afraid he might become violent with you? Have you found a new relationship since your divorce? Would you ever engage in the "lifestyle" again or are you "once bitten, twice shy" now?