Seems like it would be even kinkier if your wife set it up. Does she have any interest in doing that? I get it if she wants the thrill of it being out of her control. What type of scene are you looking for (wife not present, wife present but not participating, wife participating)? I can only imagine how difficult it is to find partners when the desired scene is so specific. Maybe you could place an ad on swinglifestyle or plentyoffish.