What present that wife/ gf surprise you in your birthday

Like when you and gf dated for a year and in your birthday,she surprise you with some kinky present
My live in GF is a slug. She sits and watches forty year old sitcoms on tv all day and drinks herself silly. I picked her because looks wise she looked like my ex-wife who I've always loved and missed. Her mom and grandmother literally shop at my house ripping my stuff off. She is so self-centered that she couldn't even spend a half dollar for my birthday, Christmas, Valentine's day and or Father's day on a card at the thrift store for me. Howed I get into this??
 
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