Hi there,
I’m 35, and my now-fiancé is 24. We’ve been meeting with a guy who is 50 for just over 12 months now. This whole journey has been a long one for us, as we were talking about this for around 5 or 6 years before actually taking the plunge. While it was originally his idea, my fiancé was far too nervous to go through with it. But eventually, it became something we both agreed to, and I spent a lot of time convincing her to be part of it. It was my idea, and I can't stress enough that it took me a long time to get her to a place where she was comfortable with this.
What I struggle with:
I’ve been struggling mentally and emotionally more than I ever imagined. My fiancé is really enjoying this new dynamic; she’s becoming more confident, her self-esteem has improved, and generally, she seems much happier. It’s been a huge change for her in a positive way. But for me, it’s been incredibly difficult. I can’t even explain how much this situation has affected me mentally. I find myself battling intense feelings of jealousy, anger, and a lot of anxiety. Every time we meet with him, those feelings get more complicated, and it’s hard for me to keep them in check. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes in all the emotions, and it’s hard to cope.
What’s even more difficult is that I can’t fully express my feelings to her. I’m really struggling internally, but I’m scared to let her know just how much it’s affecting me. She’s in such a good place right now, and I can’t bring myself to tell her how much it hurts. I worry about how it might impact her mental health. I don’t want to be the one to undo the progress she’s made, especially because it was my idea to go forward with this in the first place. She has no idea about the weight I’m carrying, and I’m not sure I can ever tell her.
The connection she has with him is growing stronger, and it’s hard to watch. I had no idea it would be this intense for me. I thought I could handle it, but it’s become more overwhelming as time has passed. The relationship between them is deepening, and I can’t help but feel a mixture of envy, fear, and confusion about where I stand. There are times when I worry about what this will mean for our relationship, but honestly, I don’t fear her leaving because of it. I believe in the bond we have, and I trust that despite everything, our connection is strong enough to withstand it.
What I’m looking for:
I’m really looking for someone to talk to – someone who can be a long-term friend and maybe even a pen pal. I need someone who is open-minded and non-judgmental, someone who can ask me questions and help me process these complicated emotions. I feel like I need a space where I can talk openly about the struggles I’m facing, especially the mental health side of things, without the pressure of worrying about how it will affect others.
I’m not looking for anything more than friendship, just a person who can listen, offer advice, or simply be there to chat. It’s important for me to feel heard without the fear of judgment. Ideally, I’m looking for someone who might even be able to understand what this situation is like, or someone who is genuinely curious about it. I’ve never really found anyone who could relate, but I feel like I need that right now – a supportive, understanding friend.
So, if you’re someone who enjoys having deep conversations and can relate to the complexity of relationships and mental health, I’d love to hear from you. I need to take care of my own mental health while also supporting my fiancé, and sometimes, having someone to talk to is the only thing that helps me navigate through all the noise in my head.
Looking forward to connecting with someone who gets it
I’m 35, and my now-fiancé is 24. We’ve been meeting with a guy who is 50 for just over 12 months now. This whole journey has been a long one for us, as we were talking about this for around 5 or 6 years before actually taking the plunge. While it was originally his idea, my fiancé was far too nervous to go through with it. But eventually, it became something we both agreed to, and I spent a lot of time convincing her to be part of it. It was my idea, and I can't stress enough that it took me a long time to get her to a place where she was comfortable with this.
What I struggle with:
I’ve been struggling mentally and emotionally more than I ever imagined. My fiancé is really enjoying this new dynamic; she’s becoming more confident, her self-esteem has improved, and generally, she seems much happier. It’s been a huge change for her in a positive way. But for me, it’s been incredibly difficult. I can’t even explain how much this situation has affected me mentally. I find myself battling intense feelings of jealousy, anger, and a lot of anxiety. Every time we meet with him, those feelings get more complicated, and it’s hard for me to keep them in check. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes in all the emotions, and it’s hard to cope.
What’s even more difficult is that I can’t fully express my feelings to her. I’m really struggling internally, but I’m scared to let her know just how much it’s affecting me. She’s in such a good place right now, and I can’t bring myself to tell her how much it hurts. I worry about how it might impact her mental health. I don’t want to be the one to undo the progress she’s made, especially because it was my idea to go forward with this in the first place. She has no idea about the weight I’m carrying, and I’m not sure I can ever tell her.
The connection she has with him is growing stronger, and it’s hard to watch. I had no idea it would be this intense for me. I thought I could handle it, but it’s become more overwhelming as time has passed. The relationship between them is deepening, and I can’t help but feel a mixture of envy, fear, and confusion about where I stand. There are times when I worry about what this will mean for our relationship, but honestly, I don’t fear her leaving because of it. I believe in the bond we have, and I trust that despite everything, our connection is strong enough to withstand it.
What I’m looking for:
I’m really looking for someone to talk to – someone who can be a long-term friend and maybe even a pen pal. I need someone who is open-minded and non-judgmental, someone who can ask me questions and help me process these complicated emotions. I feel like I need a space where I can talk openly about the struggles I’m facing, especially the mental health side of things, without the pressure of worrying about how it will affect others.
I’m not looking for anything more than friendship, just a person who can listen, offer advice, or simply be there to chat. It’s important for me to feel heard without the fear of judgment. Ideally, I’m looking for someone who might even be able to understand what this situation is like, or someone who is genuinely curious about it. I’ve never really found anyone who could relate, but I feel like I need that right now – a supportive, understanding friend.
So, if you’re someone who enjoys having deep conversations and can relate to the complexity of relationships and mental health, I’d love to hear from you. I need to take care of my own mental health while also supporting my fiancé, and sometimes, having someone to talk to is the only thing that helps me navigate through all the noise in my head.
Looking forward to connecting with someone who gets it
