Apologies if this turns into a long post. But my wife and eye had quite a Valentine's Night and I am literally still buzzing from the possibilities that it feels have opened up before us... I just need to vent my excitement!
First a bit of background. We have been together 11 years, married for five and a half. A couple of years into our relationship I opened up fully about my kinks (yeah I know, should have been a lot earlier), including the fact that I love the whole hotwife/cuckolding thing, plus the fact that I am very bi-curious. She was very understanding and, true to her claim that she is very open minded about sex and open to new experiences, agreed to explore with me. Although she admitted it was all very, very new to her. She said at the time she had never even considered the idea of 'cheating' while in a relationship, and didn't realise that 'doing it with a partner's consent' was even a thing.
Anyway, we ended up on a couple of swinger's sites, I set us up a couple's Gmail account and tried to get her talking to guys. We had some fun with it, mainly exchanging dirty messages and pics with people and lots and lots of hot fantasy talk in bed between the two of us. But it never went any further. Eventually she made it plain that her interest was waning. She said it had become all I wanted to talk about sexually - the classic mistake, pushing too hard, too fast. She also just didn't like/get the whole chatting to randoms online thing. But as she's not the kind of girl to go out and flirt with guys in a bar (she says she has always felt terribly self-conscious in those situations), and the fact that we both agreed this wasn't something we wanted to involve anyone we knew in, I couldn't really see how else it would happen. I took the hint and backed off (or perhaps more accurately, disappeared into my shell sexually and emotionally for a while - typical dumb male with his pride wounded). And as she didn't bring it up anymore, it basically fell of the radar completely. Besides, we had other things to occupy us by that time like a young child etc.
Fast forward to this Christmas. My missus has always been something of a raver/party girl with all that entails. Now in our early 40s, it's not something we get to do all too often these days. But there was this one particular rave music festival she had her eye on. We'd already spent a small fortune on tickets to another festival later in the summer and she knew I'd protest on the basis of cost. But she really wanted to go. So the way she sold the idea to me was this - we can get a hotel next to the festival site. And over the weekend, if we happen to meet someone I/we like - we'll have a room we can take them back to.
I was completely wrongfooted by this. It had been so long since we'd discussed anything like that, it came out of the blue. I made some awkward noises to the effect that I'd need time to think about it and we'd have to have a serious talk about boundaries/safety/what we wanted to get out of such an encounter if it even happened. But safe to say I agreed to buy the tickets...
The 'serious' talk didn't happen... until Valentine's Night just gone. Neither of us have ever been particularly good at initiating conversations about sex. But it seems a romantic card and a night out together with our kid staying over at grandparents was just what she needed to open the bottle. And boy did it all come out...
She told me, in no particular order, over the course of an amazing night that was filled with as much incredible sex as it was talk, the following.
To be honest, a lot of the buzz I'm feeling is to do with hearing her speak so openly and honestly about all of this. I'm fully aware that we could go to this festival and nothing could happen, her way leaves a lot to chance. But that's fine - it's the thought that we're on the same wavelength after all that really excites me. It has made me somehow feel so much closer to her, and excited for whatever adventures lay ahead.
Thoughts? Advice? Recommendations?
First a bit of background. We have been together 11 years, married for five and a half. A couple of years into our relationship I opened up fully about my kinks (yeah I know, should have been a lot earlier), including the fact that I love the whole hotwife/cuckolding thing, plus the fact that I am very bi-curious. She was very understanding and, true to her claim that she is very open minded about sex and open to new experiences, agreed to explore with me. Although she admitted it was all very, very new to her. She said at the time she had never even considered the idea of 'cheating' while in a relationship, and didn't realise that 'doing it with a partner's consent' was even a thing.
Anyway, we ended up on a couple of swinger's sites, I set us up a couple's Gmail account and tried to get her talking to guys. We had some fun with it, mainly exchanging dirty messages and pics with people and lots and lots of hot fantasy talk in bed between the two of us. But it never went any further. Eventually she made it plain that her interest was waning. She said it had become all I wanted to talk about sexually - the classic mistake, pushing too hard, too fast. She also just didn't like/get the whole chatting to randoms online thing. But as she's not the kind of girl to go out and flirt with guys in a bar (she says she has always felt terribly self-conscious in those situations), and the fact that we both agreed this wasn't something we wanted to involve anyone we knew in, I couldn't really see how else it would happen. I took the hint and backed off (or perhaps more accurately, disappeared into my shell sexually and emotionally for a while - typical dumb male with his pride wounded). And as she didn't bring it up anymore, it basically fell of the radar completely. Besides, we had other things to occupy us by that time like a young child etc.
Fast forward to this Christmas. My missus has always been something of a raver/party girl with all that entails. Now in our early 40s, it's not something we get to do all too often these days. But there was this one particular rave music festival she had her eye on. We'd already spent a small fortune on tickets to another festival later in the summer and she knew I'd protest on the basis of cost. But she really wanted to go. So the way she sold the idea to me was this - we can get a hotel next to the festival site. And over the weekend, if we happen to meet someone I/we like - we'll have a room we can take them back to.
I was completely wrongfooted by this. It had been so long since we'd discussed anything like that, it came out of the blue. I made some awkward noises to the effect that I'd need time to think about it and we'd have to have a serious talk about boundaries/safety/what we wanted to get out of such an encounter if it even happened. But safe to say I agreed to buy the tickets...
The 'serious' talk didn't happen... until Valentine's Night just gone. Neither of us have ever been particularly good at initiating conversations about sex. But it seems a romantic card and a night out together with our kid staying over at grandparents was just what she needed to open the bottle. And boy did it all come out...
She told me, in no particular order, over the course of an amazing night that was filled with as much incredible sex as it was talk, the following.
- That the thought of fucking with other/multiple men has been her go-to masturbatory fantasy for years.
- That one of the big reasons she backed off previously was because she thought it was becoming all about my bi fantasies. Although she doesn't necessarily have a problem with the idea of me experimenting with men, she started to feel I was using the hotwife/threesome thing as a way to indulge my own desires, not hers. And as well as starting to question my motives, she admitted she would want any encounter with other guys to be all about her. She said her biggest fear would be arranging a threesome and I end up more interested in the other guy, which she'd hate.
- That the way she always imagines it happening is a spontaneous, in-person thing - she catches a handsome stranger eyeing her up, he chats her up, makes her feel sexy and attractive by making his interest in her obvious. She says that part of it turns her on a lot and is why she shied away from the online aspect - too long-winded, too planned. She said while she thought the idea of going to a festival and being open to hooking up was fun, she also liked the idea of sex/swingers parties - and also going on holiday to a swingers resort!
- That she thinks she'd want her first time with another guy to be alone, without me present. And that this was something she'd been agonising over telling me for a long time, because it was obvious from everything I said that my fantasy was either a threesome, or at least watching her fuck another guy. But she said she felt me being there first time would make her anxious and self-conscious, and she'd rather 'get it out the way' alone. We talked this through for ages, with my line basically being, yes I'd love to watch/be involved, but if we end up doing any of this, I understand it's on her terms, I have no expectation of micromanaging it. And anyway, I find the idea of her going off to fuck other men hot too. In response, she said she felt it would be a first time thing, that after that she would want to try threesomes etc - and even let me explore what I needed to explore with other guys.
To be honest, a lot of the buzz I'm feeling is to do with hearing her speak so openly and honestly about all of this. I'm fully aware that we could go to this festival and nothing could happen, her way leaves a lot to chance. But that's fine - it's the thought that we're on the same wavelength after all that really excites me. It has made me somehow feel so much closer to her, and excited for whatever adventures lay ahead.
Thoughts? Advice? Recommendations?
