She brought it up, you thi8nk you might have scared her but you both enjoyed pillowtalk sessions for years (you don't say, I'll take a risk an consider that you might not get on that subject every time you have sex) now she still reacts positively, just not as enthusiastically. Is that fairly close?
When she brought it up and asked if you'd ever thought about sharing her she mentioned the FMF situation as the source, and it appears that situation evolved into a poly relationship. (that's quite a lot of detail, I'm impressed with you both)
If I have it mostly right, she brought up about the article perhaps as a seguay into the "have you ever thought about?" You've shown you have an excellent memory. Think back, is it possible she had something/someone specific in mind and that you may have missed it in the excitement? Could she have decided you may have missed the exact hint she gave but it's also exciting following your vision (ie, it's all good) possibly in the hope you might drift around more to what she had in mind?
I'll back up here as the way you describe it she was pretty direct (actually it sounds as close to "how about we go way out of town, get a room, hit a bar and ..." as it gets if that was all in one conversation or even during the course of a day. If I assume that this was not over a timeframe of several months I expect that y'all discussed, lets say more than one scenario? Did she have a preference?
This venue tends to foster taking a SWAG at things. I hope you wont be put off if I'm off the mark.
I especially hope that you don't take anything as me suggesting that you might have been inattentive, You don't strike me as that sort of person, especially at that level of detail.
In any situation such as this no one can possibly be closer to your wife than you and obviously you will have to be the one to make a direct assessment. These questions are more for you to answer in your own mind than for me or anyone else to know.. the reasoning here is "check the basics" For instance in you were to call tech support about a new, yet inoperative computer (or blender) you know the very first question on their flow chart is going to be something like "is it plugged in?" They ask because they know anyone can overlook the simplest things and if this conversation didn't have your thoughts racing you're unusually cool.
I think it's possible that you have a "high quality problem".
SHE raised the issue and even if you hadn't already had thoughts along those lines you certainly seem to have embraced the concepts. After the initial approach did either of you drive the direction of the conversation? What direction?
Since you don't mention anything sounding remotely like it being a touchy subject, safe to say your communication/enthusiasm/openness has been very comfortable all along? Was this the first thing you could call "unconventional"? Even being very open about intimate subjects when "unconventional" could bump into "emotional" It's easy to see that one might be a little fearful of overstepping.
However I still am left with the impression the wet spot must've lingered for days when you two revisited the subject that night. (dirtyfun, not romance, correct?)
Shared enthusiasm, lust, adventure, racing thoughts, infinite possibilities yada yada....
What kept you from pulling the trigger???
I think anyone can relate to a fear that things are going so good something just has to happen to screw it up.
Could it be rehashing the same scene is becoming worn? A resignation that there could never be a realization of the fantasy? I expect that you know that when you meet fear it's better to face it as soon as possible, otherwise you may grow comfortable with it. In this arena fears are often intangible and not being able to put a name to them make them very close to "fear of the unknown" (the Big Daddy of them all).
No one can fault you if you choose to keep things as fantasy. You're both more courageous than most just for entertaining the thoughts. Many of those would never dare to even relate what you have even here in anonymity to sympathetic minds.
There's more than one biological clock. Many are somewhat unique to a particular person yet we can all relate. You pass milestones where you realize, never be a rock star... never climb that mountain, jump off that airplane, sail around the world. If you're lucky sometimes you hear the ticking when there's still time to do rather than dream and it's a call to decide.
Could that be it? Sometimes people give up long before it's time. Might be a good idea to go ask her and maybe talk about it. Could be she's hoping you will.
