Hello gentlemen,
it's my first post here, so let me introduce myself briefly. I am a 38 year old marreid guy from Germany with limited English skills when it comes to deep talk about hotwife psychology 🙂 I kindly ask you to correct me where I mess up the words, in order to improve my vocabulary...
Me & my wife had already the MFM expierience once. Now we're stuck since years on that topic to have it a second, third and fourth time. I hope to get some impulses, ideas or proposals how to proceed from you guys.
You can skip the chapters 1) Background, 2) Preparation and long-time "convincing" and 3) The first MFM
they are not mandatory for answering my questions 🙂
Background
My wife and me are a couple since 2008, and we are married for more than 10 years now. We have two kids (9y + 5y) .
The start of our relationship was more "practically" than love & romatics. I was looking for an uncomplicated girlfriend after I had the painful broke-up with my long-term girlfriend before while she was 21 and desperate about still being a virgin (she never told me until close before our first MFM).
However, it turned out to be good sex and we had a lot of fun in the first two years. Time went by and as in most average realtionships, sex life went to what is best described as "too seldom & too boring and too much vanilla".
My favorite porn search was "homemade DP" at that time and I had a few affairs. One of the affairs showed interest in the MFM idea, but we did not make it happen. Around that time I realized, that I was dreaming more and more of having an MFM with my beloved wife, instead of having this with some "random" female affair and probably a guy I don't know. So I decided to stop my affairs and focus on my marriage.
Preparation and long-time "convincing" until first MFM
Back then, I convinced my wife to watch "high quality porn" with me during foreplay and slowly introduced threesome porn. She was too shy to deep-talk about it at that time. So I decided to go for the next step. My gift for her birthday was with a trip to Vienna. I printed a card like a menue card with the trip highlights: some sightseeing, nice dinner and a visit of a location what was a mix of swinger club and disco. I wrote in small letters that the vacation is "all-inclusive, not only food and beverages, but also an unlimited hallpass for the club" 🙂
She wasn't getting the point and I asked her serveral times if she'd like to change something about the agenda. I really had to point her nose on it, by saying she should google the club to see if she would like it. She refused it and asked things like if I planned to have sex with other women. By the way: we still have not visited that club.
One year went on with no real progress. At that time she found out that I had these affairs years ago. After a few days of trouble and tears, we decided to stay together, but to talk more open about our needs and feelings.
Half a year later I found a german forum like this "wifewantstoplay" for wifesharing & cuckold things. I read everything and learned a lot. So first thing I changed was to open up and tell my wife about my MFM fantasy. I did it slowly (in German we would say "salami tactics"). I kept on asking her frequently what her fears and toughts are about this and when we could go to Vienna. She always came up with the fear that my ultimate goal was to have an open relationship or get a hallpass to fuck other women. Thanks to that german wifesharing forum, I managed to convince her, that I only lover her and therefore only she could give me that ultimate pleasure to see the lust in her eyes when enjoying great sex with a stranger, making her feel as "sexually-self-confident" women. We introduced the fantasy with some dirty talk into our sex life more and more. When she had been a good girl and used her dildo and talked dirty about taking other man's big dick while I was watching or sneaking on her, I treated her like a queen the day after.
Again it took some time until I started to bring up the Vienna trip/club visit topic again and again. I explained to her, that we would need to sign up to a german sex website to register for a club event in Vienna and have the possibility to check the other members who signed up.
One evening she was horny and I did not give in until she agreed on signing up. So we signed up with a foto, afterwards took a bath together with foreplay in the tub. She was completely in her fantasy and rode her dildo with extra passion that evening 🙂 So patience seemed to start paying off now and made me hope to visit Vienna soon.
After signing up on that website, we received several personal messages. Most of them were disgusting and somehow I managed to delete the "ugly" messages before my wife could read them. She got interested in one guy who was really good at writing & flirting - I will call him "Marty" from here on. He was not offensive, very patient and had an appropiate choice of words. I encoraged both of them to flirt more and exhange their fantasies.
My idea always was to have some anonymous "one-night-stand"-like threesome at a club first, instead of inviting someone that we need to get to know first and could run into several problems. However, my wife convinced me, that she prefers to search a candidate over the internet instead of going to a swinger club. It was tricky to keep up the passion and interest for Marty from my wife, but "Marty" did his job really good. After 4 months (!!) we had a first date with Marty in a hotel bar and went to restaurant, but no sex or touching.
Two month later, we met him again in cocktail bar. We sat at a table and after approx. one hour of talking about various things, I lead the convesation to fantasies and lingerie. Then I encouraged him to put his hand on my wife's leg to feel her stockings, and asked her hand to put her hand on his leg...
Things were getting hotter and hotter and after a while, I said I'd go for the toilet and that I'll take my time and be back in 10 minutes. They both understood immediatly what my intention was. My wife later told me that his hand slowly found its way to her pussy and he slightly fingered her in that bar, under the table. She felt his erection grow. They both smiled at me, when I came back and eventually had trouble to keep their hands from each other.
So finally my wife and I were looking foward for the third date in a hotel, again 3 months later. Nevertheless, we still felt a little bit uncomfortable about it.
We were already a bit annoyed because we had discussed and fantasized about it so many times in our heads and just wanted to get over it that night.
The first MFM
Finally in late autum 2019, we booked the best suite in an luxury hotel, met Marty at a bar first, then went to the hotel and had a few drinks. My wife and me had planned before that she'd go upstairs when she was comfortable to let it happen. So she went upstairs, dressed up in her finest lingerie and waited for us men to show up. I guess it must have felt like ages for her, until we finally knocked at the door, 20 minutes after she left the lobby bar.
Marty was smiling at her and a few moments later we found ourselves kissing and caressing her, while she was stroking our dicks. She undressed him while he undressed her. She kept on kissing with him or me. By the way: we had agreed that kissing was allowed - it was o.k. for me because I believe it's "mandatory" to have intensive orgasmic sex.
I started to lick her pussy and I softly entered her pussy with my dick in doggy position, while she was kissing him. A few minutes later we switched postions and he entered her. After the first few "pumps" my wife already got louder bended back to him and told him how good it feels...I enjoyed her facial expressions and lust. Marty had really good stamina and fucked her really good. We switched positions quite often.
It was not like two guys "using" a women, or me "providing my slut to a stud". She was the director of that night and decided about sex positions and when to switch between him and me. After 45 (!) minutes of intensive fucking and switching between his dick and mine, my wife had a screaming orgasm with him in missonary position. Marty and me came later (with condoms...). Secound round was even better for me and my fantasy. He fucked her doggy with an intensity, that I cannot give to her (my dick's longer than average and it eventually hurts her when it comes to passionate doggy fucking. And to be honest my stamina is not the best when the wife already screams from lust & pleasure...).
All-in-all it was almost perfect and the best we could hope for. After Marty left, we took a shower and caressed each other and fell asleep.
Aftermath
We talked not too much about what had happend the night before, when we took our breakfast in the hotel. My plan was to deep-talk with her about it a few days later.
However she was quite reluctant to deep-talk about it. She said, she does not want me or her getting addicted to it and that it is not going to happen soon again, even though she enjoyed it very much. Two or three month later she when she was using her dildo and let me watch again (the old "roleplay" routine") she watched a MFM porn. She whispered with lust that she wants this to happen again so badly and that I should arrange a new date with another guy.
Well as a result, I did not manage to find a suitable guy within the next months and also her lust for MFM, dildo-roleplay and so on was really volatile and went down . FIrst gradually and then rapidly.
I often think maybe our first MFM was too satisfying and perfect, so all successors would be a big dissapointment and that somehow keeps her away from that fantasy.
We said to ourselves, that we will keep on looking for suitable guys and work on our bodies to feel self-confident enough to walk into a swinger club in Vienna in summer 2020. Then came CoVid and MFM was out of sight. My wife lost interest in the MFM topic and more and more often I had to beg her to let me watch her riding her dildo.
Current situation
I am unable to relight the fire. She is quite reluctant about MFM when I bring it up. By not getting what I want since years, my MFM fantasy turned almost into an "addiction", nowadays fantasizing not only about having an MFM, but also some cuckold vibes or something with sloppy seconds fantasies. This comes because I desperatly want my wife to go from low-sex-drive to high-sex-drive and sexual self confidence as it was during the "training & preparation" time before the first MFM.
I think these are some of the main problems, that I am unable to solve
- The harmony in the relationship is not as good as it was before - we are working very hard at our jobs and household, school and so on leaves little to no time for relationship activities
- She gained at least 8kg weight and got a belly since 2019 and with lack of time for sports, she feels uncomfortable in her body
- She says she is too tired to sign up and look for new possible candidates from that website
- When I ask her if and when we could repeat it, she always answers that she does not want it to happen too often
- Longer Sex-free phases (6-8 weeks) also from me with low interest in sex because of tiredness
- To little time for common hobbies / no common hobbies
My attempts:
I tried several times to set up a dinner/date night and talk about our fantasies without real success or progress on that MFM topic.
I asked her at different situations and in different locations about her fantasies. She says something like: "I like the sex with you - that's enough"
In the past few weeks I already tried bring back the dirty talk about fucking other men when she rides the dildo, but that does not relight her fire enough.
Help/Advice
How can I get my wife horny again for having a MFM? For sure talk, talk, talk is the key. But she often blocks it when I start with MFM topics.
Dis someone have the same situation/challenge and has some advice for me...?
Thanks for reading!
That German Guy (TGG)
it's my first post here, so let me introduce myself briefly. I am a 38 year old marreid guy from Germany with limited English skills when it comes to deep talk about hotwife psychology 🙂 I kindly ask you to correct me where I mess up the words, in order to improve my vocabulary...
Me & my wife had already the MFM expierience once. Now we're stuck since years on that topic to have it a second, third and fourth time. I hope to get some impulses, ideas or proposals how to proceed from you guys.
You can skip the chapters 1) Background, 2) Preparation and long-time "convincing" and 3) The first MFM
they are not mandatory for answering my questions 🙂
Background
My wife and me are a couple since 2008, and we are married for more than 10 years now. We have two kids (9y + 5y) .
The start of our relationship was more "practically" than love & romatics. I was looking for an uncomplicated girlfriend after I had the painful broke-up with my long-term girlfriend before while she was 21 and desperate about still being a virgin (she never told me until close before our first MFM).
However, it turned out to be good sex and we had a lot of fun in the first two years. Time went by and as in most average realtionships, sex life went to what is best described as "too seldom & too boring and too much vanilla".
My favorite porn search was "homemade DP" at that time and I had a few affairs. One of the affairs showed interest in the MFM idea, but we did not make it happen. Around that time I realized, that I was dreaming more and more of having an MFM with my beloved wife, instead of having this with some "random" female affair and probably a guy I don't know. So I decided to stop my affairs and focus on my marriage.
Preparation and long-time "convincing" until first MFM
Back then, I convinced my wife to watch "high quality porn" with me during foreplay and slowly introduced threesome porn. She was too shy to deep-talk about it at that time. So I decided to go for the next step. My gift for her birthday was with a trip to Vienna. I printed a card like a menue card with the trip highlights: some sightseeing, nice dinner and a visit of a location what was a mix of swinger club and disco. I wrote in small letters that the vacation is "all-inclusive, not only food and beverages, but also an unlimited hallpass for the club" 🙂
She wasn't getting the point and I asked her serveral times if she'd like to change something about the agenda. I really had to point her nose on it, by saying she should google the club to see if she would like it. She refused it and asked things like if I planned to have sex with other women. By the way: we still have not visited that club.
One year went on with no real progress. At that time she found out that I had these affairs years ago. After a few days of trouble and tears, we decided to stay together, but to talk more open about our needs and feelings.
Half a year later I found a german forum like this "wifewantstoplay" for wifesharing & cuckold things. I read everything and learned a lot. So first thing I changed was to open up and tell my wife about my MFM fantasy. I did it slowly (in German we would say "salami tactics"). I kept on asking her frequently what her fears and toughts are about this and when we could go to Vienna. She always came up with the fear that my ultimate goal was to have an open relationship or get a hallpass to fuck other women. Thanks to that german wifesharing forum, I managed to convince her, that I only lover her and therefore only she could give me that ultimate pleasure to see the lust in her eyes when enjoying great sex with a stranger, making her feel as "sexually-self-confident" women. We introduced the fantasy with some dirty talk into our sex life more and more. When she had been a good girl and used her dildo and talked dirty about taking other man's big dick while I was watching or sneaking on her, I treated her like a queen the day after.
Again it took some time until I started to bring up the Vienna trip/club visit topic again and again. I explained to her, that we would need to sign up to a german sex website to register for a club event in Vienna and have the possibility to check the other members who signed up.
One evening she was horny and I did not give in until she agreed on signing up. So we signed up with a foto, afterwards took a bath together with foreplay in the tub. She was completely in her fantasy and rode her dildo with extra passion that evening 🙂 So patience seemed to start paying off now and made me hope to visit Vienna soon.
After signing up on that website, we received several personal messages. Most of them were disgusting and somehow I managed to delete the "ugly" messages before my wife could read them. She got interested in one guy who was really good at writing & flirting - I will call him "Marty" from here on. He was not offensive, very patient and had an appropiate choice of words. I encoraged both of them to flirt more and exhange their fantasies.
My idea always was to have some anonymous "one-night-stand"-like threesome at a club first, instead of inviting someone that we need to get to know first and could run into several problems. However, my wife convinced me, that she prefers to search a candidate over the internet instead of going to a swinger club. It was tricky to keep up the passion and interest for Marty from my wife, but "Marty" did his job really good. After 4 months (!!) we had a first date with Marty in a hotel bar and went to restaurant, but no sex or touching.
Two month later, we met him again in cocktail bar. We sat at a table and after approx. one hour of talking about various things, I lead the convesation to fantasies and lingerie. Then I encouraged him to put his hand on my wife's leg to feel her stockings, and asked her hand to put her hand on his leg...
Things were getting hotter and hotter and after a while, I said I'd go for the toilet and that I'll take my time and be back in 10 minutes. They both understood immediatly what my intention was. My wife later told me that his hand slowly found its way to her pussy and he slightly fingered her in that bar, under the table. She felt his erection grow. They both smiled at me, when I came back and eventually had trouble to keep their hands from each other.
So finally my wife and I were looking foward for the third date in a hotel, again 3 months later. Nevertheless, we still felt a little bit uncomfortable about it.
We were already a bit annoyed because we had discussed and fantasized about it so many times in our heads and just wanted to get over it that night.
The first MFM
Finally in late autum 2019, we booked the best suite in an luxury hotel, met Marty at a bar first, then went to the hotel and had a few drinks. My wife and me had planned before that she'd go upstairs when she was comfortable to let it happen. So she went upstairs, dressed up in her finest lingerie and waited for us men to show up. I guess it must have felt like ages for her, until we finally knocked at the door, 20 minutes after she left the lobby bar.
Marty was smiling at her and a few moments later we found ourselves kissing and caressing her, while she was stroking our dicks. She undressed him while he undressed her. She kept on kissing with him or me. By the way: we had agreed that kissing was allowed - it was o.k. for me because I believe it's "mandatory" to have intensive orgasmic sex.
I started to lick her pussy and I softly entered her pussy with my dick in doggy position, while she was kissing him. A few minutes later we switched postions and he entered her. After the first few "pumps" my wife already got louder bended back to him and told him how good it feels...I enjoyed her facial expressions and lust. Marty had really good stamina and fucked her really good. We switched positions quite often.
It was not like two guys "using" a women, or me "providing my slut to a stud". She was the director of that night and decided about sex positions and when to switch between him and me. After 45 (!) minutes of intensive fucking and switching between his dick and mine, my wife had a screaming orgasm with him in missonary position. Marty and me came later (with condoms...). Secound round was even better for me and my fantasy. He fucked her doggy with an intensity, that I cannot give to her (my dick's longer than average and it eventually hurts her when it comes to passionate doggy fucking. And to be honest my stamina is not the best when the wife already screams from lust & pleasure...).
All-in-all it was almost perfect and the best we could hope for. After Marty left, we took a shower and caressed each other and fell asleep.
Aftermath
We talked not too much about what had happend the night before, when we took our breakfast in the hotel. My plan was to deep-talk with her about it a few days later.
However she was quite reluctant to deep-talk about it. She said, she does not want me or her getting addicted to it and that it is not going to happen soon again, even though she enjoyed it very much. Two or three month later she when she was using her dildo and let me watch again (the old "roleplay" routine") she watched a MFM porn. She whispered with lust that she wants this to happen again so badly and that I should arrange a new date with another guy.
Well as a result, I did not manage to find a suitable guy within the next months and also her lust for MFM, dildo-roleplay and so on was really volatile and went down . FIrst gradually and then rapidly.
I often think maybe our first MFM was too satisfying and perfect, so all successors would be a big dissapointment and that somehow keeps her away from that fantasy.
We said to ourselves, that we will keep on looking for suitable guys and work on our bodies to feel self-confident enough to walk into a swinger club in Vienna in summer 2020. Then came CoVid and MFM was out of sight. My wife lost interest in the MFM topic and more and more often I had to beg her to let me watch her riding her dildo.
Current situation
I am unable to relight the fire. She is quite reluctant about MFM when I bring it up. By not getting what I want since years, my MFM fantasy turned almost into an "addiction", nowadays fantasizing not only about having an MFM, but also some cuckold vibes or something with sloppy seconds fantasies. This comes because I desperatly want my wife to go from low-sex-drive to high-sex-drive and sexual self confidence as it was during the "training & preparation" time before the first MFM.
I think these are some of the main problems, that I am unable to solve
- The harmony in the relationship is not as good as it was before - we are working very hard at our jobs and household, school and so on leaves little to no time for relationship activities
- She gained at least 8kg weight and got a belly since 2019 and with lack of time for sports, she feels uncomfortable in her body
- She says she is too tired to sign up and look for new possible candidates from that website
- When I ask her if and when we could repeat it, she always answers that she does not want it to happen too often
- Longer Sex-free phases (6-8 weeks) also from me with low interest in sex because of tiredness
- To little time for common hobbies / no common hobbies
My attempts:
I tried several times to set up a dinner/date night and talk about our fantasies without real success or progress on that MFM topic.
I asked her at different situations and in different locations about her fantasies. She says something like: "I like the sex with you - that's enough"
In the past few weeks I already tried bring back the dirty talk about fucking other men when she rides the dildo, but that does not relight her fire enough.
Help/Advice
How can I get my wife horny again for having a MFM? For sure talk, talk, talk is the key. But she often blocks it when I start with MFM topics.
Dis someone have the same situation/challenge and has some advice for me...?
Thanks for reading!
That German Guy (TGG)
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