So I feel like after years of work, I'm at an impasse. I'm further along than most, but not nearly where I want to be. Would love some feedback from the pros on this board, which I've been a long time lurker of and know you're out there. I'll break it down the best that I can, with as much detail as I can without getting boring.
BACKGROUND:
I (Ryan) met Ashley when we were both 24 years old we are now both 47 and have been married since 2005 and have two sons 15/13. She had been with 8 guys before me, and did cheat on a few of them but more of a way to get out of the relationship. I know we all think our wives are knockouts, but mine is a literal 10/10 and everyone knows it. 5'10 blonde, fake tits big ass and the face of a movie star, but also somewhat conservative/classy. Our sex life is good enough after all these years, she fucks me whenever I want and if I ask for a BJ I'll get one before the day is over. BUT....I am the main initiator and NOBODY likes having to ask for a BJ
Meat and Potatoes:
I shared my kink of wanting to have a MFM (an easier sell than saying I wanted to watch her fuck someone) during the covid lockdown. She was receptive and thought it was hot, but did say she wasn't ready for it and would let me know if she ever was. It led to some great sex and we even watched a MFM porno while we fucked for the first time ever. We also did some roleplaying as she rode a dildo while I fucked her ass. Over the years I've definitely seen some small progression, jokes about going to see her BF or me telling her to do whatever she wants when traveling for business. She knows what I find sexy, as she even said "I know what you want, you want to watch someone fuck your wife" But here we are going on 5 years later, and I can't keep saying "I had a dream we blah blah blah" So I'm looking for other ways to try and push the issue. I did purchase a new large dildo but she couldn't take it all, she looked uncomfortable and asked me to stop. She did say last week that next time we are out of town we should set up a dating profile on Tinder to see the feedback she gets. So she does like showing off (we post on reddit but never our faces) and the attention she gets. And I thought that was a fun great idea to do the tinder thing, but I can't see her chatting with people as she's not a huge texter.
Important details:
I'm not a cuck, and see myself more of a stag. I don't want to be humiliated, I don't want her to do anything behind my back and in a weird way...I want to control the situation. I almost see it more as me dominating her, allowing someone to fuck my prized possession (so to speak) and it being our dirty secret. I would have a few rules like I don't want her sucking anyone's dick, she's only blown 3 guys and I find it hot that her mouth is only mine and I'm not sure how I feel about her kissing another guy. It would be more like us using a man like a dildo with a pulse. He'd have fun for sure, but he's there for her not the other way around. Now I do still get jealous, but only with people she knows. For instance when she goes back to her hometown I don't love the idea of her going out and getting hit on ESPECIALLY if it was someone who she's hooked up with in the past. But out of town, on vacation with strangers that's my fantasy. Details for her, she's loyal and she would never cheat. I would call her vanilla now but not in the past, we have fucked in bar bathrooms and she's given me head in a parking lot with people waling by. She always says she's happy with just me and she's not sure how she would feel about herself after if she fucked someone else. I also get the vibe she'd need a connection and not be able to just have sex without it. She also made a comment that she's slept with 9 guys total and she doesn't want it to go into double digits.
Sorry for the longish post, but this is something I'm needing some guidance on and it's not like I can talk to my friends about it. If I think of any other little details I'll add them to this post in the comments.
BACKGROUND:
I (Ryan) met Ashley when we were both 24 years old we are now both 47 and have been married since 2005 and have two sons 15/13. She had been with 8 guys before me, and did cheat on a few of them but more of a way to get out of the relationship. I know we all think our wives are knockouts, but mine is a literal 10/10 and everyone knows it. 5'10 blonde, fake tits big ass and the face of a movie star, but also somewhat conservative/classy. Our sex life is good enough after all these years, she fucks me whenever I want and if I ask for a BJ I'll get one before the day is over. BUT....I am the main initiator and NOBODY likes having to ask for a BJ
Meat and Potatoes:
I shared my kink of wanting to have a MFM (an easier sell than saying I wanted to watch her fuck someone) during the covid lockdown. She was receptive and thought it was hot, but did say she wasn't ready for it and would let me know if she ever was. It led to some great sex and we even watched a MFM porno while we fucked for the first time ever. We also did some roleplaying as she rode a dildo while I fucked her ass. Over the years I've definitely seen some small progression, jokes about going to see her BF or me telling her to do whatever she wants when traveling for business. She knows what I find sexy, as she even said "I know what you want, you want to watch someone fuck your wife" But here we are going on 5 years later, and I can't keep saying "I had a dream we blah blah blah" So I'm looking for other ways to try and push the issue. I did purchase a new large dildo but she couldn't take it all, she looked uncomfortable and asked me to stop. She did say last week that next time we are out of town we should set up a dating profile on Tinder to see the feedback she gets. So she does like showing off (we post on reddit but never our faces) and the attention she gets. And I thought that was a fun great idea to do the tinder thing, but I can't see her chatting with people as she's not a huge texter.
Important details:
I'm not a cuck, and see myself more of a stag. I don't want to be humiliated, I don't want her to do anything behind my back and in a weird way...I want to control the situation. I almost see it more as me dominating her, allowing someone to fuck my prized possession (so to speak) and it being our dirty secret. I would have a few rules like I don't want her sucking anyone's dick, she's only blown 3 guys and I find it hot that her mouth is only mine and I'm not sure how I feel about her kissing another guy. It would be more like us using a man like a dildo with a pulse. He'd have fun for sure, but he's there for her not the other way around. Now I do still get jealous, but only with people she knows. For instance when she goes back to her hometown I don't love the idea of her going out and getting hit on ESPECIALLY if it was someone who she's hooked up with in the past. But out of town, on vacation with strangers that's my fantasy. Details for her, she's loyal and she would never cheat. I would call her vanilla now but not in the past, we have fucked in bar bathrooms and she's given me head in a parking lot with people waling by. She always says she's happy with just me and she's not sure how she would feel about herself after if she fucked someone else. I also get the vibe she'd need a connection and not be able to just have sex without it. She also made a comment that she's slept with 9 guys total and she doesn't want it to go into double digits.
Sorry for the longish post, but this is something I'm needing some guidance on and it's not like I can talk to my friends about it. If I think of any other little details I'll add them to this post in the comments.
