If she's talking about "Ohio" what does she think you'll do there? Does she think you'll get to watch her have fun and that will be enough? She sounds like she doesn't want you to be with ANYONE else and you know that or else you wouldn't be reluctant to share ALL your desires with her.
I have never understood how a wife/girlfriend that has come to the understanding that she's had this amazing fulfilling experience and everything is still safe and secure and her not wanting to do the same for their spouse/boyfriend. It seems hypocritical to deny a spouse that same experience. You'd think there would be some attempt to provide some Quid Pro Quo. Everyone deserves a thrilling experience and if it's always one-sided I can't imagine that some degree of resentment forming. All that said, I totally get why you have held your cards close to your vest. You won't ever see any of your fun if she doesn't want to play in the first place.
Getting past her "guarded" behavior is the hurdle now. She's still hiding some feelings, whether it's to protect your feelings or her own. About your perception of your initial poor handling of the situation, you should cut yourself some slack. You really didn't have a lot of options and you were frustrated by a situation that had only two outcomes. At some point she had to understand that a "poly" lifestyle was not what you wanted, so it was on her to accept that or move on.
She has discovered that it can't just go her way. When she originally pitched the idea of a "poly" lifestyle, how did she describe it working? Did she try to make it sound like it was going to be good for everyone, especially you? She has to of had to do a lot of processing to bring up "Ohio" at this point. I'll bet you'd give up something important to know what she is thinking.
