It happened… feelings all over the place!

[DarthActaeon]

So it’s finally happened and I must say I don’t know where my head is at right now. This is the quite long so bear with me.

My wife and I have spoken about her being shared and having fun with other guys for a while. When she’s particularly horny while we are fucking it really gets her worked up, but she also had a lot of reservations about it and was very reluctant about taking it to the next level.

She’s also very body conscious, and that’s gotten more acute recently as she has a stoma bag (as a side note, would be interested to hear from bulls if this would be a no for you? I’ve told her she could wear lingerie if it made her feel more comfortable).

This weekend she went away for a girls weekend (bachelorette party) in Spain. Before she went we’d had sex a few times and on one occasion I told her I’d find it hot if she sucked a guy off while she was away and sent me the video. She got off on it and came pretty hard but afterwards got quite upset and went over some of the usual stuff around being insecure about her body, feeling like I don’t want her and am trying to ship her off etc. I reassured her and it was left at that.

She went away and we spoke as usual, called a couple of times a day etc. She said nothing.

She came back today and we fucked more or less straight away - she was insatiable. I could tell she had something to say but she didn’t say anything.

Before long she wanted to go again and she said she had something to tell me. We started fucking and after I pressed her she explained what happened.

The crux of it was that she was out in a bar when her group was approached by a group on a football tour, they all got chatting (fairly normal for a bachelorette weekend) and they ended up going to a club as one big group.

She said she started talking to a 19 year old (!) who wouldn’t leave her alone, even after she said she’s in her 30s and has a ....... He bought her a couple of drinks and in the end she gave him her number “to get rid of him”.

A few hours later she’s back at the hotel with her sister and she gets a text from this guy asking if she wants a drink. She said she was tipsy and thinking about what I said so went along but didn’t think she’d follow through.

She said she got to his hotel and they had a drink in the bar. He asked her if she wanted to “come and see his room” as it had good views of the beach. They went upstairs, and she said after barely any chit chat he pulled his cock out on her.

She said she felt bad but wanted to do something for me so started sucking him off. Initially she said she hated it as she never used to like blowjobs before she met me and it didn’t feel right, but she admitted when she tasted his precum and realised how much he enjoyed it she started to get into it.

At this point I was really turned on so we had to stop fucking and we started playing with some of her toys. I asked her if she had any videos, because I’d asked for that and randomly she started getting upset.

Eventually she said she did and she didn’t want me to be mad. She gave me her phone and there were a couple of 30 - 40 second clips on there. I watched them… and it wasn’t just a blowjob. She was on her back getting absolutely railed by this guy. He looked to have a decent body and his cock was a good 7+ inches (I’m 6.5 on a good day). The worst thing was he wasn’t even wearing a condom. Apparently he pulled out and came on her tits.

It was the strangest feeling. I felt sick, but also so fucking turned on. She was playing with me at the time and I pretty much came instantly.

Afterwards we had a pretty big argument and we have agreed to spend the night apart. A few things are on my mind and if am honest I feel really awful at the moment. I keep going through cycles of anger, feeling sick, to being turned on and replaying the short video over and over in my head.

There’s a few things bothering me.

- We agreed for a first time it would be oral only, just to see how we both reacted.
- I said she could do it if she took and sent me the video, which she didn’t do and only showed me reluctantly when she got home. The videos are really short so my mind is in overdrive thinking about what went on.
- He was so young!
- No condom. She’s off the pill at the moment and this feels like a big violation for me.

I’m in a weird headspace right now and just needed to vent, sorry for the long post.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

This is a lot to process for you. While it does hurt, please understand that it is pretty normal for rules to bend or get broken during play. My wife has broken nearly every rule we started with at one time or another.

My advice is to keep the lines of communication open with your wife if you want her to keep playing. If you get mad when she tells you what happens, she will likely either just stop playing or wont tell you the whole story. As long as you are both talking and learning together, you can work through this. (And will enjoy some amazing sex)

 

[Kandjfun]

I agree with, you have to communicate and give her a safe place to be honest. Most likely she would have never done anything had she not felt like it was okay and that you wanted her to explore. She probably didn’t send you the videos because she wasn’t sure what you reaction would be but she did take the videos and showed them to you in person. Taking the step to allow herself to be with another man was probably huge and she is probably feeling all the feelings and more that you are feeling. You both need to talk about it together and process it together but this time with your cloths on to see if this lifestyle is something you both should or want to continue to explore.

 

[DarthActaeon]

Thanks both. You are right of course, communication is key. Ultimately this is where I would like to get to, so I guess I have to swallow my pride somewhat and work through it as in the end this is what I wanted. Lots to work through though. Think I need to understand how she got there.

 

[DarthActaeon]

Update:
We've spoken in depth overnight and this morning. I apologised for my initial reaction and said we needed to talk it through. She understood and said she had been apprehensive about telling me as she knew she'd pushed the boundaries on what we'd agreed on this occasion, especially considering she'd told me it wouldn't happen, so she didn't blame me for my initial reaction and that I needed some time to process it all.

I explained why I was feeling the way I was but also said I was in a way happy and horny because ultimately it is where I said I wanted to get us to. She explained that she had genuinely not even thought it would go anywhere, but as it ramped up with the guy she got more and more worked up and realised it was something she wanted just as much as I did. He'd not pressured her in any way and she'd just got really caught up in the moment, having only had sex with me for the longest time. She's feeling a bit guilty about the no condom thing and she's going to get an STI test for peace of mind before any other play with others, and she said she's learned her lesson there as she got caught up in the moment but is now worrying about it.

We've agreed to be more flexible and honest in relation to this going forward. She's made clear that she will only ever even seek it out if we have spoken about it beforehand, and I've said that I will be more flexible in terms of my expectations - the situation is fluid after all and some things may or may not happen depending on the situation. Ultimately I want her to enjoy getting fucked and experience that with her, so I can't be fussy about what she does or does not do on a meet.

We're going to start actively looking for a bull-type now so I can be present and watch on her next meet, so this does seem to have opened the floodgates as it were! We had the best sex of my life last night so let's hope it stays that way.

 

[Kandjfun]

Update:
We've spoken in depth overnight and this morning. I apologised for my initial reaction and said we needed to talk it through. She understood and said she had been apprehensive about telling me as she knew she'd pushed the boundaries on what we'd agreed on this occasion, especially considering she'd told me it wouldn't happen, so she didn't blame me for my initial reaction and that I needed some time to process it all.

I explained why I was feeling the way I was but also said I was in a way happy and horny because ultimately it is where I said I wanted to get us to. She explained that she had genuinely not even thought it would go anywhere, but as it ramped up with the guy she got more and more worked up and realised it was something she wanted just as much as I did. He'd not pressured her in any way and she'd just got really caught up in the moment, having only had sex with me for the longest time. She's feeling a bit guilty about the no condom thing and she's going to get an STI test for peace of mind before any other play with others, and she said she's learned her lesson there as she got caught up in the moment but is now worrying about it.

We've agreed to be more flexible and honest in relation to this going forward. She's made clear that she will only ever even seek it out if we have spoken about it beforehand, and I've said that I will be more flexible in terms of my expectations - the situation is fluid after all and some things may or may not happen depending on the situation. Ultimately I want her to enjoy getting fucked and experience that with her, so I can't be fussy about what she does or does not do on a meet.

We're going to start actively looking for a bull-type now so I can be present and watch on her next meet, so this does seem to have opened the floodgates as it were! We had the best sex of my life last night so let's hope it stays that way.

Honest open communication is paramount for this lifestyle to work. Boundaries and desires will change over time and with each encounter, but making sure you are talking about it will make those changes go so much more smoothly. Sounds like you two are getting back in the same page, I’m glad a little hiccup hasn’t derailed the years of being together. This lifestyle can be extremely hot and fun when both sides on the same page.

 

[jaandaj]

Have to agree with the others that already gave advice. And honestly it's great seeing people like them giving such good advice.

Definitely talk through everything. It's never worth ending a relationship because of heat of the moment rule breaking.

Glad you two are working through it. Keep us all posted. And good luck

 

[dickhurtz]

aside from the guilt, did she give any indication that she enjoyed the adventure? was it fulfilling for her or was she feeling guilty at the time, or just later?

 

[DarthActaeon]

aside from the guilt, did she give any indication that she enjoyed the adventure? was it fulfilling for her or was she feeling guilty at the time, or just later?

I’d certainly say so, we’ve discussed it while fucking several times over the last week, haha.

She described it as one of the most sexually intense experiences of her life. In her words it was liberating to be able to be ‘sexually free’, not beholden to her commitment to me (that sounds terrible, but it’s meant in the sense that she is able to be so much more uninhibited).

The orgasm was deeply intense, because there was a mix of the actual pleasure (which was great, his cock was pretty big and being young he was eager to please), the guilt and ultimately the filth / naughtiness of it all.

We are looking to find a bull now.

 

[travelingcouple]

You gave her an inch she took a mile. Communication is the key. Be sure this is something you want before you keep taking this route or it's gonna ruin you mentally, and your marriage. You will need to comb through your emotions and see what really suits you and doesnt. Reestablish boundaries and lines.

 

[dickhurtz]

I’d certainly say so, we’ve discussed it while fucking several times over the last week, haha.

She described it as one of the most sexually intense experiences of her life. In her words it was liberating to be able to be ‘sexually free’, not beholden to her commitment to me (that sounds terrible, but it’s meant in the sense that she is able to be so much more uninhibited).

The orgasm was deeply intense, because there was a mix of the actual pleasure (which was great, his cock was pretty big and being young he was eager to please), the guilt and ultimately the filth / naughtiness of it all.

We are looking to find a bull now.

good for her. please keep us updated.

 

[CroGiant]

I understand what happened. This situation is described here very often. You had some idea in your mind, some fantasy and scenario but in reality, it was different than you anticipated. This is the difference between fantasy and reality. But ... in the end, she did what you want. And you should be happy that she loves you enough to fulfill your fantasy.

 

[DarthActaeon]

You gave her an inch she took a mile. Communication is the key. Be sure this is something you want before you keep taking this route or it's gonna ruin you mentally, and your marriage. You will need to comb through your emotions and see what really suits you and doesnt. Reestablish boundaries and lines.

Yes, and that was my initial problem. We have discussed it in great detail though and she is remorseful for pushing it beyond what we had agreed. That being said, ultimately what she did do was the end result of what I had wanted so we are moving on. She’s committed not to break the rules so egregiously going forward, though I doubt that will be much of a problem as I think the flood gates are now open - for both of us.

 

[Teddy Long]

Are they going to see each other again.

 

[CONST65]

Yes, and that was my initial problem. We have discussed it in great detail though and she is remorseful for pushing it beyond what we had agreed. That being said, ultimately what she did do was the end result of what I had wanted so we are moving on. She’s committed not to break the rules so egregiously going forward, though I doubt that will be much of a problem as I think the flood gates are now open - for both of us.

Im.glad you two worked.it out communication of what each of you want..My wife has been a hotwife.for 4 yearsvit has been great..She goes to.upscale lounges dressed to .......
IF she gets hit.on and the chemistry is right She lets me k ow that she going to fuck.she will.let me k ow wheter shes coming home after they play or comi g home in the morning..Sex life has been unbelievable outside of our marriage as well.as in our marriage. She takes better care of her self dreses alot sexier..Everything has changes for the better. I help her get ready to.go out .When she comes back.from fucking our reclaiming sex os over the top.feel free to ask me ANYTHING you can.private chat if you want Bob

 

[Sooper]

So it’s finally happened and I must say I don’t know where my head is at right now. This is the quite long so bear with me.

My wife and I have spoken about her being shared and having fun with other guys for a while. When she’s particularly horny while we are fucking it really gets her worked up, but she also had a lot of reservations about it and was very reluctant about taking it to the next level.

She’s also very body conscious, and that’s gotten more acute recently as she has a stoma bag (as a side note, would be interested to hear from bulls if this would be a no for you? I’ve told her she could wear lingerie if it made her feel more comfortable).

This weekend she went away for a girls weekend (bachelorette party) in Spain. Before she went we’d had sex a few times and on one occasion I told her I’d find it hot if she sucked a guy off while she was away and sent me the video. She got off on it and came pretty hard but afterwards got quite upset and went over some of the usual stuff around being insecure about her body, feeling like I don’t want her and am trying to ship her off etc. I reassured her and it was left at that.

She went away and we spoke as usual, called a couple of times a day etc. She said nothing.

She came back today and we fucked more or less straight away - she was insatiable. I could tell she had something to say but she didn’t say anything.

Before long she wanted to go again and she said she had something to tell me. We started fucking and after I pressed her she explained what happened.

The crux of it was that she was out in a bar when her group was approached by a group on a football tour, they all got chatting (fairly normal for a bachelorette weekend) and they ended up going to a club as one big group.

She said she started talking to a 19 year old (!) who wouldn’t leave her alone, even after she said she’s in her 30s and has a ....... He bought her a couple of drinks and in the end she gave him her number “to get rid of him”.

A few hours later she’s back at the hotel with her sister and she gets a text from this guy asking if she wants a drink. She said she was tipsy and thinking about what I said so went along but didn’t think she’d follow through.

She said she got to his hotel and they had a drink in the bar. He asked her if she wanted to “come and see his room” as it had good views of the beach. They went upstairs, and she said after barely any chit chat he pulled his cock out on her.

She said she felt bad but wanted to do something for me so started sucking him off. Initially she said she hated it as she never used to like blowjobs before she met me and it didn’t feel right, but she admitted when she tasted his precum and realised how much he enjoyed it she started to get into it.

At this point I was really turned on so we had to stop fucking and we started playing with some of her toys. I asked her if she had any videos, because I’d asked for that and randomly she started getting upset.

Eventually she said she did and she didn’t want me to be mad. She gave me her phone and there were a couple of 30 - 40 second clips on there. I watched them… and it wasn’t just a blowjob. She was on her back getting absolutely railed by this guy. He looked to have a decent body and his cock was a good 7+ inches (I’m 6.5 on a good day). The worst thing was he wasn’t even wearing a condom. Apparently he pulled out and came on her tits.

It was the strangest feeling. I felt sick, but also so fucking turned on. She was playing with me at the time and I pretty much came instantly.

Afterwards we had a pretty big argument and we have agreed to spend the night apart. A few things are on my mind and if am honest I feel really awful at the moment. I keep going through cycles of anger, feeling sick, to being turned on and replaying the short video over and over in my head.

There’s a few things bothering me.

- We agreed for a first time it would be oral only, just to see how we both reacted.
- I said she could do it if she took and sent me the video, which she didn’t do and only showed me reluctantly when she got home. The videos are really short so my mind is in overdrive thinking about what went on.
- He was so young!
- No condom. She’s off the pill at the moment and this feels like a big violation for me.

I’m in a weird headspace right now and just needed to vent, sorry for the long post.

If you think you can dictate rules then you’re gonna have problems with this.

It took me a few years and lots of arguments to just let go and let her do what she wants. Oh I still get upset and frustrated sometimes but that’s the price I pay for all the other stuff that goes with it.

 

[AndyCee777]

So it’s finally happened and I must say I don’t know where my head is at right now. This is the quite long so bear with me.

My wife and I have spoken about her being shared and having fun with other guys for a while. When she’s particularly horny while we are fucking it really gets her worked up, but she also had a lot of reservations about it and was very reluctant about taking it to the next level.

She’s also very body conscious, and that’s gotten more acute recently as she has a stoma bag (as a side note, would be interested to hear from bulls if this would be a no for you? I’ve told her she could wear lingerie if it made her feel more comfortable).

This weekend she went away for a girls weekend (bachelorette party) in Spain. Before she went we’d had sex a few times and on one occasion I told her I’d find it hot if she sucked a guy off while she was away and sent me the video. She got off on it and came pretty hard but afterwards got quite upset and went over some of the usual stuff around being insecure about her body, feeling like I don’t want her and am trying to ship her off etc. I reassured her and it was left at that.

She went away and we spoke as usual, called a couple of times a day etc. She said nothing.

She came back today and we fucked more or less straight away - she was insatiable. I could tell she had something to say but she didn’t say anything.

Before long she wanted to go again and she said she had something to tell me. We started fucking and after I pressed her she explained what happened.

The crux of it was that she was out in a bar when her group was approached by a group on a football tour, they all got chatting (fairly normal for a bachelorette weekend) and they ended up going to a club as one big group.

She said she started talking to a 19 year old (!) who wouldn’t leave her alone, even after she said she’s in her 30s and has a ....... He bought her a couple of drinks and in the end she gave him her number “to get rid of him”.

A few hours later she’s back at the hotel with her sister and she gets a text from this guy asking if she wants a drink. She said she was tipsy and thinking about what I said so went along but didn’t think she’d follow through.

She said she got to his hotel and they had a drink in the bar. He asked her if she wanted to “come and see his room” as it had good views of the beach. They went upstairs, and she said after barely any chit chat he pulled his cock out on her.

She said she felt bad but wanted to do something for me so started sucking him off. Initially she said she hated it as she never used to like blowjobs before she met me and it didn’t feel right, but she admitted when she tasted his precum and realised how much he enjoyed it she started to get into it.

At this point I was really turned on so we had to stop fucking and we started playing with some of her toys. I asked her if she had any videos, because I’d asked for that and randomly she started getting upset.

Eventually she said she did and she didn’t want me to be mad. She gave me her phone and there were a couple of 30 - 40 second clips on there. I watched them… and it wasn’t just a blowjob. She was on her back getting absolutely railed by this guy. He looked to have a decent body and his cock was a good 7+ inches (I’m 6.5 on a good day). The worst thing was he wasn’t even wearing a condom. Apparently he pulled out and came on her tits.

It was the strangest feeling. I felt sick, but also so fucking turned on. She was playing with me at the time and I pretty much came instantly.

Afterwards we had a pretty big argument and we have agreed to spend the night apart. A few things are on my mind and if am honest I feel really awful at the moment. I keep going through cycles of anger, feeling sick, to being turned on and replaying the short video over and over in my head.

There’s a few things bothering me.

- We agreed for a first time it would be oral only, just to see how we both reacted.
- I said she could do it if she took and sent me the video, which she didn’t do and only showed me reluctantly when she got home. The videos are really short so my mind is in overdrive thinking about what went on.
- He was so young!
- No condom. She’s off the pill at the moment and this feels like a big violation for me.

I’m in a weird headspace right now and just needed to vent, sorry for the long post.

WoW..It sounds very Hot and I’m sorry your having a hard time putting things into prospective..and the real hard part is if you don’t get right with her she may not trust you in the future to move forward with the lifestyle you say thought you wanted… I’m not trying to dump on you as you are most certainly entitled to your feelings!! But you did consent to her playing wile away… She is an adult woman who had (......)sex..that’s all.. Your worries about safety, as well as a potential pregnancy or valid!! But she can’t change what happened..only be more diligent in the future!!
But now that you have had time to process it all, I hope you have taken into consideration how brave she was to try and do what she thought you asked her!!
If you think you would like to move forward with these type of open relationships, I may suggest that you try thinking her for giving it a try. Tell her how proud you are of her and how much you love her and that you’re sorry you got upset, but you were just fearful of the risks that were taken ..
You might also consider discussing that moving forward you to have better communication about limits(which truly are very difficult to maintain) and how important safe play is and that it’s not negotiable…
I truly hope you too don’t let a slightly bumpy start dictate how things will go in the future.. best of luck..
AndyC

 

[Welder153]

once you plant that seed in her mind the subminimal message has been stored, shell do things she wouldnt ordinarily do, kinda like her primal needs take over

 

[DanB77]

once you plant that seed in her mind the subminimal message has been stored, shell do things she wouldnt ordinarily do, kinda like her primal needs take over

I hope that's true, planted the seed with my wife, hoping one day she'll let loose with another man

 

[JMNBABE]

LOLLOL, love it. Guys think they can set "rules" and that's it for women. And then find out there are NO rules, and when we do this you get mad and pissy and angry because we LOVED it!! Blew it buddy, don't expect her to trust you again, you can't BE trusted. J (the wife)