Internalizing "sharing" as part of marital sex

She and I were seriously dating, soon to be engaged. I was 19, she was 17.

We were at a house party – it wasn’t a “swinging” situation or anything like that, just a good party with a few people making out, lots of drinking and laughing, fun party. I was aware that my girl’s former boyfriend would be there, but since she and I were talking about getting engaged I gave it no further thought. My girlfriend and I were going to a motel afterwards to spend the night. I’d already paid for the room and had the key in my pocket and I was ‘kinda anxious to leave the party and get started with our real fun!

My girlfriend had a few drinks and as the party wore on I noticed she wasn’t in the living room any more – she’d disappeared, but I gave it no thought – just figured she was elsewhere in the house, or went to the store with her pals, etc. I didn’t know it yet but she was in a bedroom upstairs having sex with her former boyfriend.

She reappeared after an hour or so, as if nothing had happened and we said goodbye and left. She was a bit “tipsy” but still conducting conversation and I was just horny as hell. When we arrived at the motel, I had to help her get undressed and as we got in bed I immediately started kissing her and trying to initiate sex. She seemed to be enjoying it, but as my hand slid between her legs my fingers were sliding into a well lubricated vagina. She pushed back a little and said “you don’t want to go there tonight, I’ve been bad.” I instantly understood what had happened earlier and my cock was harder than I ever imagined it could get. It was like throwing gas on an already raging fire. And the more she tried to convince me that I didn’t want to fuck her, the hornier I got. And as I moved on top of her she posed no resistance as we began making out and my cock slid in. I was excited beyond belief that another man had just made love to her and every feature of her body seemed to stand out, ready for sex. It wasn’t until later (after we married) that I really understood that my wife was unsure about how I was going to handle things after that party – what my reaction might be. But that night at age 19, what did I know except that I was horny as hell and that taking her after another man had taken her was turning me on.

I didn’t last long of course but she seemed relieved that I didn’t make an issue of what had happened earlier. After I came in her she got up to ********, then when she returned I held her in my arms and we made out a little more. She was still a little tipsy, and still trying to apologize but she soon dropped off to ...... (but I fucked her a couple more times during the night). It wasn’t long before I was hard again. Little did she know that I was happy – indeed elated at the evening’s events. Later she was trying to apologize and I told her she didn’t need to apologize, - that I’d really enjoyed the evening with her and that I hoped she didn’t mind that I was so aggressive with her. She said she didn’t know what had come over her at the party. But both of us knew that two fertile guys had finished inside her multiple times that night and believe me, we sweated out her next period. I had condoms with me but didn’t use one and her former boyfriend hadn’t used one either.

We were later married and discussed what had happened many times. The word “discussed” is a bit too formal to describe what we talked about – it was pillow talk and sexy afterglow talk that really created the mood and tone to share what we each wanted (at that moment, anyway). My wife was learning that she could enjoy sex with more than a boyfriend or husband and it wouldn't put the marriage at risk. I was learning that sex with her was better for me if I knew she was having sex with other men who brought her to orgasm. We both preferred that when she had a boyfriend, that she have at least some feelings for him, and that the sex happened in our bed, or his bed (she would spend the night at his place). The pregnancy risk was a big factor as well. Later after she and I married and had our first ......, her former boyfriend became a frequent guest in our home and in our bed. We didn't really know much about "cuckolds" and all of that, but we enjoyed many of the activities associated with a marriage where the husb and is a willing cuckold. Knowing my wife preferred sex with her former boyfriend was always a driver for me.
 
Is that guy still around? Did she move on to anyone else?
He found a girlfriend, and married her (his 2nd wife). We knew this would happen. When he was in his 50s, he was offered a severance package and took it. He and his wife then moved to the northern midwest, where he started a small business. He and my wife had one quick reunion in a hotel at the airport when he was back on business, but that was it. My wife heard from him from time to time until it finally dropped off and we lost contact. That's the way it goes with this long-term relationships. 🙂 As a coworker and as an attractive well-hung male he was a good find for us as he was always around in some capacity at her work.