You didn't "destroy her life". You caused her great pain and you violated her trust in you as a husband and father. She will move on and have a life with somebody who will cherish her. We've said it many times on here....ALWAYS PROTECT YOUR PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP...THIS IS ONLY FOR FUN....this is just a sexual fantasy for many or diversion for others who actually engage in it......we read outrageous crap here daily from people who don't consider the lives of those who they adversely affect because of some uncontrollable fetish or another....and often, just like gambling or other addictions, this leads to a loss of the relationship. We don't get it.
Mr and Mrs HW
We often get to the point where we consider all of this sexual activity as "normal", since it is normal for us. We don't get much of the problems and drama which arise from sex outside of the marriage and sex which most would consider "perverted" or some such label, even if we were single. The problem is, in reality, what is normal to us is outrageous to others. Sometimes fantasies and realizing those fantasies would be better left inside you or inside the bedroom between you both. Both members of a couple must be totally invested in this type of lifestyle.