I know I'm still new around here, but let me give a slight history before I mention what's going on with my wife and I.
I've been with my wife for about 21 years. She has been aware of my fantasy of sharing her with another guy since about 5 years into our relationship when she woke me from a dream where I was telling her how much I liked seeing her with some guy (I sometimes talk in my ......). At first she was appalled and hurt assuming I didn't love her and that I really wanted an excuse to bang some other women. Obviously, that is so far removed from the truth it isn't worth spending much time discussing. But as I expressed to her my fantasies and she and I began having a little dialogue about them, we began incorporating my fantasies into roleplaying over the next 15 years or so. She has a lot of reluctance to go through with anything real, but has certainly enjoyed my fantasies in the bedroom with just us. We do have periods where we play this way, but there are also times when she wants me focused on her and not playing "naughty" or "the small dick game" as we began calling it over time. In recent months, we have discussed this more and more and she is totally reluctant to go through with anything, but she is well aware that she could if she wanted to. For me, that's a key part of this - she has to want it, because it won't do a thing for me, if she doesn't want it.
Now, I also have the kind of job that keeps me away a LOT. Basically 2 weeks out of every month, I am out of town. It totally sucks for her, because she doesn't have any friends nor any close family members, so she tends to be a single mom for most of the time I'm away (In truth, though, a couple of our kids are too old to really need much attention) and doesn't ever do anything for herself. I have made suggestions that she find hobbies, some friendships and have - both, seriously and jokingly - told her I would be happy for her, if she wanted a boyfriend on the side while I'm gone. She has expressed that she doesn't feel good enough about herself to do this sort of thing and feels she is so lonely that she would make something more out of it than she should. Either way, she knows I support her fully in anything she wants to do, but until I am able to find a job that keeps me home, this is the lifestyle we currently have.
Last night, however, as we said our good nights to each other on the phone, I told her to have sweet dreams and she jokingly told me she was going to dream about a celebrity she likes (Sometimes during our roleplay, the dildo we use is referred to with his name). Obviously, I fully support her imagination...lol. Today, she told me she had been invited by a our neighbor's kid (who is an adult) to celebrate her dad's birthday - he happens to be divorced. I expressed that I didn't want her to feel like she had to be cooped up in the house and having some adult interaction might do her some good. Of course, I secretly hope someone flirts with her and she flirts back and possible has some fun, so I told her she should go to the party and enjoy herself.
She said she would rather go shopping....sigh!
So, how do I give her a nudge to ENJOY life a little and have some fun. I love the person she is, but I think some fun would seriously do her some good.
What thoughts, opinions or advice do you all have?
I've been with my wife for about 21 years. She has been aware of my fantasy of sharing her with another guy since about 5 years into our relationship when she woke me from a dream where I was telling her how much I liked seeing her with some guy (I sometimes talk in my ......). At first she was appalled and hurt assuming I didn't love her and that I really wanted an excuse to bang some other women. Obviously, that is so far removed from the truth it isn't worth spending much time discussing. But as I expressed to her my fantasies and she and I began having a little dialogue about them, we began incorporating my fantasies into roleplaying over the next 15 years or so. She has a lot of reluctance to go through with anything real, but has certainly enjoyed my fantasies in the bedroom with just us. We do have periods where we play this way, but there are also times when she wants me focused on her and not playing "naughty" or "the small dick game" as we began calling it over time. In recent months, we have discussed this more and more and she is totally reluctant to go through with anything, but she is well aware that she could if she wanted to. For me, that's a key part of this - she has to want it, because it won't do a thing for me, if she doesn't want it.
Now, I also have the kind of job that keeps me away a LOT. Basically 2 weeks out of every month, I am out of town. It totally sucks for her, because she doesn't have any friends nor any close family members, so she tends to be a single mom for most of the time I'm away (In truth, though, a couple of our kids are too old to really need much attention) and doesn't ever do anything for herself. I have made suggestions that she find hobbies, some friendships and have - both, seriously and jokingly - told her I would be happy for her, if she wanted a boyfriend on the side while I'm gone. She has expressed that she doesn't feel good enough about herself to do this sort of thing and feels she is so lonely that she would make something more out of it than she should. Either way, she knows I support her fully in anything she wants to do, but until I am able to find a job that keeps me home, this is the lifestyle we currently have.
Last night, however, as we said our good nights to each other on the phone, I told her to have sweet dreams and she jokingly told me she was going to dream about a celebrity she likes (Sometimes during our roleplay, the dildo we use is referred to with his name). Obviously, I fully support her imagination...lol. Today, she told me she had been invited by a our neighbor's kid (who is an adult) to celebrate her dad's birthday - he happens to be divorced. I expressed that I didn't want her to feel like she had to be cooped up in the house and having some adult interaction might do her some good. Of course, I secretly hope someone flirts with her and she flirts back and possible has some fun, so I told her she should go to the party and enjoy herself.
She said she would rather go shopping....sigh!
So, how do I give her a nudge to ENJOY life a little and have some fun. I love the person she is, but I think some fun would seriously do her some good.
What thoughts, opinions or advice do you all have?
