How to have a conversation with a couple regarding their boundaries?

[DeenJames12]

In short, I’ve been visiting a couple every few months for the past two and a half years. From the get go, everything has seemed to be great, no drama, no disrespect on both sides and all of us have enjoyed the experiences.

However I would like to have a conversation in person with them next time to discuss what they are both like/their kinks and then how to communicate if something if a boundary has been overstepped in either of their eyes or mine. I have an idea in mind of how I would like to start a conversation with them about these things.

What are some great ways that people who participate in hotwifing/cuckholding have had conversations about mutual interests/kinks/boundaries so that everyone still feels respected and enjoys the experiences.

I have a feeling that the wife and husband are close to but not fully on the same page with this dynamic.

The husband has said/done things in the past that to me have made it seem like he has hinted that he wants me to take more of a lead for example:

- We went out to a restaurant one time before we back to a hotel and he said something along the lines which implied he wanted me to walk and talk to his wife (I purposefully chose to walk to the restaurant and talk to him because I am not comfortable showing off to the world that this younger guy is flirting with his middle-aged wife).

- Asking if we needed anything while his wife and I were fucking.

- A couple times in the past when his wife and I took pauses from fucking, he asked me if I minded if they have sex for a bit.

- Him handing her vibrator to her so she can also use it while I’m fucking her.

- His wife told me that sometimes he will tell her that he loves it when I stretch her out. He also asks her if she likes feeling me inside her and that he asks her to tell him to say it to him.

- The last time his wife and I had sex (he was sick and couldn’t go but he told her it was okay with him that she still saw me). I asked him if wanted me to send him anything and later thanked me when I did.

For the most part, he will pretend to be on his phone and won’t usually watch us directly when we have sex but sometimes he will actually watch but just let us do our thing.


Personally, I would love it if he watched more and even if I asked him or directed him to sit closer to us and or watch us while we do it. But then again, I don’t know have a full idea of if they are on the same page and I also do not want to cross any of their boundaries.

I have texted them before individually and they have both said they have some rules but they will let me know if I do overstep.

Sidenote: He told me before that there was another couple that was looking for a guy we recommend and that he thought of me but wanted to ask me first.

I told him that personally couldn’t do this with any more people. He respected my answer and told me I had nothing to worry about with him. (Part of me thought that by asking me that he was hoping that his wife and him and another couple and me could all “hang out together”).

 

[Rob Johnson]

I think every couple is so different and it’s hard for you as an open person to find out what is going on.

You are being very open, but looks like they are struggling a bit to be as open as you are.

I would think that they do have challenges that they are struggling to overcome.

When I read your post, I got the feeling they may want you to take total control and you shape the pathway for them. You have been out with the wife alone and she hasn’t fully opened up and so it’s both that are struggling with the communication process.

I agree that your ideas on open questions is the way forward, but maybe you will struggle for an answer as one or the other maybe unsure to open up about it.

I’d go for a beer with him and her separately and see if they open up to you alone and you can shape it from there.

I so admire couples that are able to fully communicate, but I even think they will have areas where if you dig deep you find they leave alone communication wise as they feel awkward.

 

[dinoo-2]

I so admire couples that are able to fully communicate, but I even think they will have areas where if you dig deep you find they leave alone communication wise as they feel awkward.

To communicate fully isn't easy. At least, this my experience.
However there is a very easy method to dig deeply.
My wife had some troubles to let her heart speak but using mails made it a lot easier to "speak" about taboos.
And in this way we discovered our alter egos.
Later on, it became perverted pillow talk. Or, the conversations themselves became very easy. The reality also.......
Trust and a way of communication is essential for a good partnership/marriage.

BTW, we didn't make rules to prevent arguments. This idea worked out very well.