How to have a conversation with a couple regarding their boundaries and my interests?

In short, I’ve been visiting a couple every few months for the past two and a half years. From the get go, everything has seemed to be great, no drama, no disrespect on both sides and all of us have enjoyed the experiences.

However I would like to have a conversation in person with them next time to discuss what they are both like/their kinks and then how to communicate if something if a boundary has been overstepped in either of their eyes or mine. I have an idea in mind of how I would like to start a conversation with them about these things.

What are some great ways that people who participate in hotwifing/cuckholding have had conversations about mutual interests/kinks/boundaries so that everyone still feels respected and enjoys the experiences.

I have a feeling that the wife and husband are close to but not fully on the same page with this dynamic.

The husband has said/done things in the past that to me have made it seem like he has hinted that he wants me to take more of a lead for example:


- We went out to a restaurant one time before we back to a hotel and he said something along the lines which implied he wanted me to walk and talk to his wife (I purposefully chose to walk to the restaurant and talk to him because I am not comfortable showing off to the world that this younger guy is flirting with his middle-aged wife).

- Asking if we needed anything while his wife and I were fucking.


- A couple times in the past when his wife and I took pauses from fucking, he asked me if I minded if they have sex for a bit.


- Him handing her vibrator to her so she can also use it while I’m fucking her.


- His wife told me that sometimes he will tell her that he loves it when I stretch her out. He also asks her if she likes feeling me inside her and that he asks her to tell him to say it to him.


- The last time his wife and I had sex (he was sick and couldn’t go but he told her it was okay with him that she still saw me). I asked him if wanted me to send him anything and later thanked me when I did.

For the most part, he will pretend to be on his phone and won’t usually watch us directly when we have sex but sometimes he will actually watch but just let us do our thing.

Personally, I would love it if he watched more and even if I asked him or directed him to sit closer to us and or watch us while we do it. But then again, I don’t know have a full idea of if they are on the same page and I also do not want to cross any of their boundaries.

I have texted them before individually and they have both said they have some rules but they will let me know if I do overstep.

Sidenote: He told me before that there was another couple that was looking for a guy we recommend and that he thought of me but wanted to ask me first.

I told him that personally couldn’t do this with any more people. He respected my answer and told me I had nothing to worry about with him. (Part of me thought that by asking me that he was hoping that his wife and him and another couple and me could all “hang out together”).
 

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I'm not sure this is a conversation we would want to sit down together and have with a bull. My wife likes to feel the sex is spontaneous and that sitting down beforehand to discuss what we'll do, what we won't do and how just kills the moment. Generally I will tell our chosen men what she likes etc but there's also a feeling that we're looking to a bull, by the nature of his role, to take charge and be dominant, not ask us what we want him to do.
 
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