There is no such thing you can't be a cuckold until your woman by her actions make you one. I wrote about this, take a look.
To Each His Own There Is No One Way To Be A Cuck
It actually means many different things to different cuckolds.
But let's start at the beginning: The truth vs. the Truth.
The Truth, or an absolute Truth, is actually unnameable, or rather it exists, but when you try to interpret it and put words to it, it becomes one of very many truths, as many truths as there are people. This, of course, applies to most of human experience, not just cuckoldry.
There are certain Truths though that are still difficult to express without making up stories or making meaning. We can start with the most basic statement of fact, and then illustrate how many interpretations we can make up. (While these concepts could apply to same sex couples, two men, or even two women, this will focus on a man and a woman.)
1)Penetration has two halves: The Perpetrator and the Penetrated. There exists a certain energetic dynamic between a man, whose dick penetrates and a woman whose pussy is penetrated. This energy dynamic is asymmetrical.
2)Size does make a difference in this energy dynamic. Both the size of the dick and the size of the pussy will influence the energy dynamic.
3)Duration, forse, and cadence of penetration and thrusting have an impact on the quality and intensity of the energy dynamic.
4)The energy dynamic of penetration will differ with different combinations of dick and pussy. While much of this dynamic may be attributed to connection between partners that can be non-sexual (mind, spirit, heart, etc.), a certain portion of this dynamic is purely the physical combination of dick and pussy.
5)Love and sexual attraction are two real aspects of an energetic dynamic between two people. These are also some of the most unnamable real features of human existence.
6)It is possible to love without sexual attraction. It is possible to have sexual attraction without love. It is possible to have neither, it is possible to have both.
7)Therefore, it is possible to be completely in love with a partner but lose sexual attraction.
8)This condition sometimes takes the form of a cuckold/hotwife pairing, where a man and woman are deeply devoted and in love, but sexual attraction diminishes or becomes limited (e.g. oral sex for woman only)
This is where the factual statements begin to diverge and the definition of cuckold and hot wife and the relationship that may be formed takes many different forms. It is important to realize that the examples which follow are by no means an exhaustive list. It is also important to realize that none of these forms are more right or more wrong, but are merely the descriptive stories that people make up to describe the relationship that fits them.
The Clueless Cuckold
A Cuckold with no idea. When you see him and his wife (or girlfriend, wife used for brevity), you wonder how he can be so clueless.
He has a smoking hot babe of a wife. She is amazingly sexual. And yet he does not question the fact that their love life is bland, but that she seems so very satisfied all of the time.
She is so obviously cheating on him, that even without any evidence, his friends give him the advice to check up on her. It just seems inconceivable that this relationship works. However, there is not zero chemistry. She does love having her pussy licked, and she does not mind if he jerks off.
It is so obvious, that often this type of cuckold does not stay clueless forever. He may become a different type of cuckold before too long.