My wife and I are currently a hotwife/stag couple. We started in late 2017 but she wasn’t fully successful until mid 2018. Between 2018 and mid 2020, my wife was consistently active meeting and playing with a variety of other men. During this time, she has played with 22 different men and several of them she has met numerous times. She was also constantly at the gym improving her sex appeal during this time. As her confidence grew, so did her exploits.
Covid essentially became the most effective cockblock for us. When the gyms shut down and we were stuck at home, we both gained weight and got out of the habit of working out. My wife’s confidence has taken a big hit and her sex drive is basically gone. We have evolved from a woman who was always ready for sex to a woman who regularly shuts down my advances.
She is starting to get back to the gym, but is already frustrated with how slow things are going. If she gets some momentum, all will be fine with the world. In the meantime, I am not getting what I need sexually. I have mentioned this to my wife on several occasions and she hears what I’m saying but also generally dismisses my concerns as a temporary issue. We are closing in on two years of limited sex and I would like to consider reasonable options to improve the situation.
When my wife started playing, it was because she wanted more sex than I could provide. The basic rule was that she can play with anyone else as long as my needs are met. (Essentially, she can’t choose sex with someone else over sex with me. She can, and is encouraged to, have sex with other men first and come home to me to get more). At least for now, her sex drive is gone and since she isn’t playing with others, she doesn’t worry about telling me “no” also.
I do believe that it comes down to body confidence and will get better as she feels better about herself. I tell her she is beautiful, and she certainly is, but she doesn’t believe me. At the present time, I am beyond horny all of the time. The hornier I get, the more imaginative I get. I have considered mentioning that I would like the opportunity to play with other women, like she has, until she gets her mojo back. While it seems like the roles have been reversed, I don’t want to send an incorrect message to my wife. I love her completely and she is my number one. Since body confidence is likely the root of her resistance, I am afraid she will think I am not attracted to her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’d much rather get my horny wife back and just play with her. However, I miss sex and would take any suggestions from this group. Sorry for the long explanation!
One last thought. She is goal oriented, so I arranged for a girls trip this spring to a warm, sunny beach. Normally, this would have had her back in the gym several hours a day so she could attract all kinds of attention on the trip. However, it hasn’t had a significant effect. She is hitting the gym randomly, and doing some fad supplements, but we all known that without a strong commitment, the results are hard to see. She is only a couple of months from her trip and won’t lose the weight she wants at the rate she is going. If that happens, it may likely demotivate her.
Maybe the real question is “How to I best help my wife get over the hump and get on the path to feeling good about herself again?”
Covid essentially became the most effective cockblock for us. When the gyms shut down and we were stuck at home, we both gained weight and got out of the habit of working out. My wife’s confidence has taken a big hit and her sex drive is basically gone. We have evolved from a woman who was always ready for sex to a woman who regularly shuts down my advances.
She is starting to get back to the gym, but is already frustrated with how slow things are going. If she gets some momentum, all will be fine with the world. In the meantime, I am not getting what I need sexually. I have mentioned this to my wife on several occasions and she hears what I’m saying but also generally dismisses my concerns as a temporary issue. We are closing in on two years of limited sex and I would like to consider reasonable options to improve the situation.
When my wife started playing, it was because she wanted more sex than I could provide. The basic rule was that she can play with anyone else as long as my needs are met. (Essentially, she can’t choose sex with someone else over sex with me. She can, and is encouraged to, have sex with other men first and come home to me to get more). At least for now, her sex drive is gone and since she isn’t playing with others, she doesn’t worry about telling me “no” also.
I do believe that it comes down to body confidence and will get better as she feels better about herself. I tell her she is beautiful, and she certainly is, but she doesn’t believe me. At the present time, I am beyond horny all of the time. The hornier I get, the more imaginative I get. I have considered mentioning that I would like the opportunity to play with other women, like she has, until she gets her mojo back. While it seems like the roles have been reversed, I don’t want to send an incorrect message to my wife. I love her completely and she is my number one. Since body confidence is likely the root of her resistance, I am afraid she will think I am not attracted to her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’d much rather get my horny wife back and just play with her. However, I miss sex and would take any suggestions from this group. Sorry for the long explanation!
One last thought. She is goal oriented, so I arranged for a girls trip this spring to a warm, sunny beach. Normally, this would have had her back in the gym several hours a day so she could attract all kinds of attention on the trip. However, it hasn’t had a significant effect. She is hitting the gym randomly, and doing some fad supplements, but we all known that without a strong commitment, the results are hard to see. She is only a couple of months from her trip and won’t lose the weight she wants at the rate she is going. If that happens, it may likely demotivate her.
Maybe the real question is “How to I best help my wife get over the hump and get on the path to feeling good about herself again?”
