Emotional agony is my drug of choice

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I think it started 30 years ago with my high school sweetheart. I was a senior and she was a sophomore and drop dead gorgeous. her skin was light brown Latina and her hair was loosely curled and dark naturally. Her eyes were a piercing emerald green with little red specs and if you by chance made eye contact with her you couldn’t help but take pause. If I had to compare her to someone to give you a visual it would be the girl from Chris Isaac’s Wiked Game video except she was 5’3 and on the verge of 16 but very busty for a young girl. (Her areolas were extremely large and covered the majority of her c cup breasts which began another fetish for me but I’ll save it for another day)

I had just moved to this town and we dated from her Sophmore year through a year after she graduated high school and by those standards, we were in love. In my immaturity though, I was still talking to other girls which is something I would later come to regret. We met at a Kingdom Hall for Jehovahs Witnesses as two rebellious teenagers who were both under a family obligation to attend. Her mother and father from the very beginning liked me and almost encouraged her to date me. I suppose to an untrained eye, I was clean cut, had a good job, a nice car and my shit together. I lived alone with my elderly grandmother and no real mom and dad in the picture. With the best of intentions they must have figured I would be a good ally to their cause because she was interested in coming to the church again (even if it was only to talk with me for a few minutes before and after). Just to reiterate, she had good parents who loved her, they just didn’t know I was a bad guy. Man, I didn’t even know I was a bad guy at that point which would have been the summer just before her Sophomore year.

We had been getting pretty comfortable with each other talking before and after church for most of the summer. I left for a couple of weeks just before the school year to go visit my father who was incarcerated in a federal penitentiary in Northern California. I didn’t speak to her while I was gone but when I returned and saw her at the Kingdom Hall we picked up right where we left off. We would be going to the same high school in a few days and since it was a new school to me she asked me if I wanted to meet in the student parking lot so she could show me around. When I pulled into the school I immediately saw her and I don’t know if I suprised her or scared her when I pulled up right in front of her on my Kawasaki Ninja ZX10. It was a beautiful green like her eyes that lit up when she realized it was me under that Shoei Race Helmet.

To move the story along… we hung out before and after school and sometimes during lunch for the next couple of weeks and I acted like I was perfectly content just to be friends until one memorable day… I had told her not to wait for me after school because I had gotten into an altercation with some other kid and we both had to serve a detention. When I came out of the principals office and into the student parking lot I saw her standing next to my motorcycle, she had told me that she missed her bus. Now, I’m a little naïve but I’m nobodys fool so I just looked at her and I’ll never forget she had on a dark blue hoodie with with a red guess jeans logo on it. Very slowly but firm and direct, I grabbed a fist full of that sweat shirt right in the middle of that guess triangle and pulled her up against me. She looked a little frightened when I kissed her lips and they tasted like spearmint gum and teenage lip gloss. I ran my hand across the front of her shirt as if I was straightening it out where I had grabbed it. I could feel her breasts pushing up from her tight bra. Her mouth was warm and wet and I could tell she wasnt sure what to do with her tongue. After a minute or two she found her groove and we just kissed for about ten minutes straight.

I rode her home on the back of that Ninja, we took side streets because I didnt have another helmet and she was wearing mine. When we got to her house she asked me to wait for her while she went in to talk to her mom. When she came back outside her mother was with her and I immediately recognized her friendly face from the church. She came outside inspite of her daughter’s pleading not to and thanked me for bringing her home safely. She talked to me on the porch for about ten or fifteen minutes and basically said what I mentioned earlier, that she and her husband liked what they knew of me, that I had a good job and that I was well mannered and clean cut. She said I looked like Dylan from 90210 and blushed a little, for a second I thought she was flirting with me but she was just being nice. Our conversation went a little further though and said she knew I was living with my elderly grandmother (91 years young, healthy and sharp) and that my mom and dad weren’t really around to take care of me. She said that I was welcome in her home and that her husband was sort of shy but assured me I had his blessing to date his daughter. As she went back inside and closed the door, her daughter had a look on her face like she was worried and waiting for me to react one way or another. I just smiled and said she was lucky to have a mother so warm and loving. The very moment her mother closed the door, I pulled her up against me, only this time by the waistline of her low cut jeans. I continued pulling on her pants for a moment, first up and then out, causing them to pop open and unzip partially. I could see her bush coming over the top of her panties and without hesitation I slid my hand down inside and my middle finger straight into that warm, tight pussy and at that moment, I heard and felt her breath on my face as she gasped for air. I’m telling you that my hand couldn’t have been more wet and slippery if I had had reached into a can of peaches and tried to pull one out.. It was amazing.

what happened next changed my life forever and tied me to the cross I would carry for the rest of my fucking life…

(I’ll finish the story when I have a little more time and if it doesn’t fetch a single like, I have to finish it. I have to try and understand this monster on my back. I promise this story isn’t about finding god and being saved, quite the contrary, there is no happy ending just sick and twisted sexually fantasies and perversion)
 
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Then finish the story and let it go. You can't redo the past that haunts you, I know because my mistakes just pop into my head. Over 50 years have passed and I still think about them.
That’s excellent advice. Thank you for taking the time to read it and leave a comment. I genuinely appreciate you.
 
I think it started 30 years ago with my high school sweetheart. I was a senior and she was a sophomore and drop dead gorgeous. her skin was light brown Latina and her hair was loosely curled and dark naturally. Her eyes were a piercing emerald green with little red specs and if you by chance made eye contact with her you couldn’t help but take pause. If I had to compare her to someone to give you a visual it would be the girl from Chris Isaac’s Wiked Game video except she was 5’3 and on the verge of 16 but very busty for a young girl. (Her areolas were extremely large and covered the majority of her c cup breasts which began another fetish for me but I’ll save it for another day)

I had just moved to this town and we dated from her Sophmore year through a year after she graduated high school and by those standards, we were in love. In my immaturity though, I was still talking to other girls which is something I would later come to regret. We met at a Kingdom Hall for Jehovahs Witnesses as two rebellious teenagers who were both under a family obligation to attend. Her mother and father from the very beginning liked me and almost encouraged her to date me. I suppose to an untrained eye, I was clean cut, had a good job, a nice car and my shit together. I lived alone with my elderly grandmother and no real mom and dad in the picture. With the best of intentions they must have figured I would be a good ally to their cause because she was interested in coming to the church again (even if it was only to talk with me for a few minutes before and after). Just to reiterate, she had good parents who loved her, they just didn’t know I was a bad guy. Man, I didn’t even know I was a bad guy at that point which would have been the summer just before her Sophomore year.

We had been getting pretty comfortable with each other talking before and after church for most of the summer. I left for a couple of weeks just before the school year to go visit my father who was incarcerated in a federal penitentiary in Northern California. I didn’t speak to her while I was gone but when I returned and saw her at the Kingdom Hall we picked up right where we left off. We would be going to the same high school in a few days and since it was a new school to me she asked me if I wanted to meet in the student parking lot so she could show me around. When I pulled into the school I immediately saw her and I don’t know if I suprised her or scared her when I pulled up right in front of her on my Kawasaki Ninja ZX10. It was a beautiful green like her eyes that lit up when she realized it was me under that Shoei Race Helmet.

To move the story along… we hung out before and after school and sometimes during lunch for the next couple of weeks and I acted like I was perfectly content just to be friends until one memorable day… I had told her not to wait for me after school because I had gotten into an altercation with some other kid and we both had to serve a detention. When I came out of the principals office and into the student parking lot I saw her standing next to my motorcycle, she had told me that she missed her bus. Now, I’m a little naïve but I’m nobodys fool so I just looked at her and I’ll never forget she had on a dark blue hoodie with with a red guess jeans logo on it. Very slowly but firm and direct, I grabbed a fist full of that sweat shirt right in the middle of that guess triangle and pulled her up against me. She looked a little frightened when I kissed her lips and they tasted like spearmint gum and teenage lip gloss. I ran my hand across the front of her shirt as if I was straightening it out where I had grabbed it. I could feel her breasts pushing up from her tight bra. Her mouth was warm and wet and I could tell she wasnt sure what to do with her tongue. After a minute or two she found her groove and we just kissed for about ten minutes straight.

I rode her home on the back of that Ninja, we took side streets because I didnt have another helmet and she was wearing mine. When we got to her house she asked me to wait for her while she went in to talk to her mom. When she came back outside her mother was with her and I immediately recognized her friendly face from the church. She came outside inspite of her daughter’s pleading not to and thanked me for bringing her home safely. She talked to me on the porch for about ten or fifteen minutes and basically said what I mentioned earlier, that she and her husband liked what they knew of me, that I had a good job and that I was well mannered and clean cut. She said I looked like Dylan from 90210 and blushed a little, for a second I thought she was flirting with me but she was just being nice. Our conversation went a little further though and said she knew I was living with my elderly grandmother (91 years young, healthy and sharp) and that my mom and dad weren’t really around to take care of me. She said that I was welcome in her home and that her husband was sort of shy but assured me I had his blessing to date his daughter. As she went back inside and closed the door, her daughter had a look on her face like she was worried and waiting for me to react one way or another. I just smiled and said she was lucky to have a mother so warm and loving. The very moment her mother closed the door, I pulled her up against me, only this time by the waistline of her low cut jeans. I continued pulling on her pants for a moment, first up and then out, causing them to pop open and unzip partially. I could see her bush coming over the top of her panties and without hesitation I slid my hand down inside and my middle finger straight into that warm, tight pussy and at that moment, I heard and felt her breath on my face as she gasped for air. I’m telling you that my hand couldn’t have been more wet and slippery if I had had reached into a can of peaches and tried to pull one out.. It was amazing.

what happened next changed my life forever and tied me to the cross I would carry for the rest of my fucking life…

(I’ll finish the story when I have a little more time and if it doesn’t fetch a single like, I have to finish it. I have to try and understand this monster on my back. I promise this story isn’t about finding god and being saved, quite the contrary, there is no happy ending just sick and twisted sexually fantasies and perversion)
just sick and twisted sexually fantasies and perversion
Sounds good to me🙂 Looking forward to reading more