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In the S/m world this is called topping from the bottom. In most cases as you pointed out it's only fantasy play and neither partner is ultimately committed and can call it quits at any time. Topping from the bottom is just as it sounds, where the submissive partner actually dictates the conditions of the relationship. In the S/m world this is considered a conflict since in it's  truest form the Dom is supposed to have full and unquestioning controll and the sub accepts all decisions and actions of the Dom. In a standard FLM the wife has full authority and the husband takes a submissive position.But in some cases she may entertain his input in her decision making but the ultimate choice is still hers and he doesn't have the power to override her authority.Of cource either partner has the right to dissolve the whole thing or change the level of strictness after all it's not slavery. I have read some cases where men who have high powered jobs and make a lot of decisions and give out orders to subordinates all day enjoy comming home to wife who is in charge.It serves as a relief to not have give orders but to take them. It's restfull for him and maybe even sexual for the wife to give him a break from his daily grind.