Being cucked

Transgender man here who was born a girl then became a boy. I have no penis and my biggest fantasy is dating a straight girl who doesn’t have a lot of sex with me and needs real cock to satisfy her sexual urges . I want her cheating behind my back only for me to go into her phone and find sex tapes and sexting with a guy she told me not to worry about . Then when she tells me she cheated, I continue to let her cheat because she needs “real cock” that flexes and cums inside her . She needs to be sexually satisfied . I let her have sex anywhere in the house with her new man who’s taller and stronger than me with a huge cock