Are men groomed for this lifestyle?

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I have been reflecting on my sexual history and how I transitioned from a relatively shy and naive teenager to a very open minded 50+ husband. Looking back, it certainly appears that my history has all but groomed me for where I am today.

Back in high school, I was very innocent and believed that the best way to gain a girl’s respect was to avoid being too aggressive with my sexual desires. I would joke around a lot, but never made the move. As a result, I had many opportunities to date and a fair amount of light play, but never had sex in high school. My eyes opened in college and I increased my pursuit of a young lady to have fun with vs. looking for a serious relationship. It wasn’t long before I met a gal a couple years younger than me, but far more experienced sexually. She was more than happy teaching me everything I needed to know. She was my first and we dated off and on through college. While, I did date several other young ladies while we were on breaks, I never had sex with any of them. My college girlfriend most definitely slept with other men both while we were on breaks as well as while we were dating. I caught her cheating several times which is why we had many breaks. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier in college. However, I was thrilled with the endless chase to win her back. After college, I quickly wised up and let her go. I do wonder how she would have taken to being a hotwife.

After college, I was single and dating for about a year. Again, while I am a kinky fella on the inside, I have always been very respectful and somewhat shy around women. When I met my first wife, she absolutely made the first move. And she was relentless in her pursuit of me. I was a bit caught off guard, but enjoyed this hot little milf. She was 27, had already been married twice and had three kids. One from her first marriage and two from her second. After two marriages, she learned that chasing bad boys wasn’t getting her where she needed to go. I guess I was the nice young man she was looking for. She was also experienced in the bedroom and used her prowess to win me over. She knew how to fuck and was very good at using her body to get what she wanted. She didn’t hide it from me that she had been this way since high school. She was far more experienced than my first girlfriend and had I ever offered to share her, she would have jumped at the chance. I have no proof, but expect she wasn’t just enjoying my cock during the 9 years we dated and were married. At some point after marriage, she just quit trying in every way and had no interest in changing until I moved out and filed for divorce. Then, she instantly turned on her sexual ways and tried her best to win me back. However, after years of neglect, I could ... my future with her.

The next year, I was mainly single again, but would casually date women from time to time. Again, zero fucking other women for sport, but always heavy flirting. I had numerous opportunities during this time, but I was not wired to have sex without anything beyond physical attraction. Also, After a pretty rough ending to my marriage, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Then, when I wasn’t looking, along comes my current wife. We met through a mutual friend, who was desperately trying to fuck her, and she quickly decided she was into me more than him. Knowing he was interested in her, I shut down her advances for several months. It was only when my friend and my future wife conspired to set us up on a date that I finally relented. In my mind, it wasn’t even supposed to be a date, it was supposed to be the three of us going out for drinks. That turned into a double date when his girlfriend decided to join us. By that point, it was too late to back out. When my future wife showed up for our first date, she looked amazing. I was 32 and had this hot little 22 year old smokeshow clearly into me. Our first date went very well and after several drinks at the bar, she asked if she could stay the night. How could I say no? She stayed the night and gave me numerous reasons to meet up with her again. Not unlike my previous two partners, this young lady was more experienced at 22 than I was at 32. (And by a very large margin). We talked openly about our pasts and she explained that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 18, but enjoyed sex so much she got as much as she could from 18 to 20 until she met a bad boy who claimed he was infertile due to a car accident and didn’t need to wear condoms. Yup, she got pregnant and he left. Being a single mom slowed her down for a little bit, but by the time we met, she was very comfortable being a soccer mom by day and minx at night. She wasn’t looking for a baby daddy when we met, but she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so it took me a while to be willing to agree to a serious relationship. Once I accepted that I lover her as much as she loved me, it wasn’t long before we were married and had two more children together and I adopted our oldest ....... Since day, my wife has been sexually adventurous. She did fuck a few other guys while we were figuring out if we were dating or not. I also fully expect she has pleasured a few men during the first ten years of our marriage without my knowledge. I have asked, but she claims she was faithful until we agreed for her to be a hotwife. For the past 8 years, she has had my support to play with other men and she has enjoyed the opportunity. She doesn’t have an exact count, but estimates she fucked around 50 men before marriage. We have kept track and she has added 30 more men since marriage. Meanwhile, my lifetime body count sits at three. Two women that I married and one college girlfriend of four years.

I am definitely a Type A person and have achieved everything I set out to in life. I also have a kinky side and while I never pursued promiscuous women, each of my lovers has been promiscuous. I suppose that’s likely because I essentially required the ladies to make the big move and promiscuous women are far more likely to do that. Ironically, I have turned down far more women than I have slept with, even though I was very attracted to the majority of the women I didn’t ...... with. It is really just now becoming interesting to me to fuck for sport in my early 50s and after watching my wife fuck for sport. The main thing stopping me now is that my wife is very jealous and isn’t comfortable sharing me. It was never a quid pro quo situation when we agreed for her to start playing. Both are mutually exclusive decisions. I am interested in variety after 18 years of monogamous sex.

My question for others is: Do you think it was just a matter of time before my stag tendencies came to light, or is it the environment of only dating promiscuous women that opened my eyes and mind to this? And how do other stag’s experiences compare to mine?

 

[Loridan]

Our guy friend shaves smooth, wife does too. I have been smooth but I trim most of it off.
Our friend has a skinny nerd type body, big tool. I will say he looks hot standing there full hard. I'm the husband and I don't play with him at all but he's looks good.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

Our guy friend shaves smooth, wife does too. I have been smooth but I trim most of it off.
Our friend has a skinny nerd type body, big tool. I will say he looks hot standing there full hard. I'm the husband and I don't play with him at all but he's looks good.

My apologies, I chose a word with multiple meanings. When I said grooming, I meant that I wonder if my life choices and environment opened the door for me to be a stag. I didn’t mean “grooming” in the meaning of trimming my pubic region. Though, I do shave my balls and keep my pubes trimmed at all times. Sorry for the confusion!

 

[cuck4life]

I for one think my upbringing had some bearing on my becoming a cuckold. I was raised by a very controlling and dominated ....... When I would misbehave my ...... would have me lower my pants and underwear and lay across the bed. She would then use a thin leather belt on my bottom until she felt i had learned my lesson. I was never held down I had to put my hands over my head and take it. This type of corporal punishment continued into my mid teens. I was raised to be submit to a dominate female.

This i believe had some impact on how years later I would find myself comfortable living as a cuckold.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I for one think my upbringing had some bearing on my becoming a cuckold. I was raised by a very controlling and dominated ....... When I would misbehave my ...... would have me lower my pants and underwear and lay across the bed. She would then use a thin leather belt on my bottom until she felt i had learned my lesson. I was never held down I had to put my hands over my head and take it. This type of corporal punishment continued into my mid teens. I was raised to be submit to a dominate female.

This i believe had some impact on how years later I would find myself comfortable living as a cuckold.

Thanks for the feedback! I would love to hear about other’s experiences and how it may have shaped their view of sex and relationships.

I read about some men who have very conservative wives and they still desire wife sharing. I have never had a serious relationship with a conservative woman. I like my women to be a bit naughty and open minded.

 

[coastalkid]

I don't think women really understand what a man goes through when he feels like his window of opportunity is closing. I know many women do become very obsessed with their appearance and their age and they feel too old for the competition. They still have the pussy and there's plenty of men that love older women. Their chances are far better than an older male.

It can gnaw at your heart not getting to at least try some things you find exciting. No one wants to be disappointed in their sex life.

I finally found a hot wife online that I believed they truly was a hot wife and had a chat with her. She admitted flatly that she knew she had it good. She was having A LOT of fun. She wasn't/isn't denying her husband. He isn't humiliated. She began to feel bad that her husband didn't get the same opportunity for a similar amazing sexual experience as she had. She wanted to be grateful and started to have feelings of "compersion" for her husband. She also flatly acknowledged that refusing her husband the thrill she was receiving was defenselessly hypocritical.

She allowed her husband to have a girlfriend whenever she was out hotwifing. It wasn't easy for her at first and she admitted to having pangs of jealousy from time to time. Ultimately she said that she could relax and enjoy herself more when she went out with her boyfriends knowing her husband was having his fun too.

You don't often read about wives like that one! Too bad!

 

[jsaltydog]

I have been reflecting on my sexual history and how I transitioned from a relatively shy and naive teenager to a very open minded 50+ husband. Looking back, it certainly appears that my history has all but groomed me for where I am today.

Back in high school, I was very innocent and believed that the best way to gain a girl’s respect was to avoid being too aggressive with my sexual desires. I would joke around a lot, but never made the move. As a result, I had many opportunities to date and a fair amount of light play, but never had sex in high school. My eyes opened in college and I increased my pursuit of a young lady to have fun with vs. looking for a serious relationship. It wasn’t long before I met a gal a couple years younger than me, but far more experienced sexually. She was more than happy teaching me everything I needed to know. She was my first and we dated off and on through college. While, I did date several other young ladies while we were on breaks, I never had sex with any of them. My college girlfriend most definitely slept with other men both while we were on breaks as well as while we were dating. I caught her cheating several times which is why we had many breaks. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier in college. However, I was thrilled with the endless chase to win her back. After college, I quickly wised up and let her go. I do wonder how she would have taken to being a hotwife.

After college, I was single and dating for about a year. Again, while I am a kinky fella on the inside, I have always been very respectful and somewhat shy around women. When I met my first wife, she absolutely made the first move. And she was relentless in her pursuit of me. I was a bit caught off guard, but enjoyed this hot little milf. She was 27, had already been married twice and had three kids. One from her first marriage and two from her second. After two marriages, she learned that chasing bad boys wasn’t getting her where she needed to go. I guess I was the nice young man she was looking for. She was also experienced in the bedroom and used her prowess to win me over. She knew how to fuck and was very good at using her body to get what she wanted. She didn’t hide it from me that she had been this way since high school. She was far more experienced than my first girlfriend and had I ever offered to share her, she would have jumped at the chance. I have no proof, but expect she wasn’t just enjoying my cock during the 9 years we dated and were married. At some point after marriage, she just quit trying in every way and had no interest in changing until I moved out and filed for divorce. Then, she instantly turned on her sexual ways and tried her best to win me back. However, after years of neglect, I could ... my future with her.

The next year, I was mainly single again, but would casually date women from time to time. Again, zero fucking other women for sport, but always heavy flirting. I had numerous opportunities during this time, but I was not wired to have sex without anything beyond physical attraction. Also, After a pretty rough ending to my marriage, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Then, when I wasn’t looking, along comes my current wife. We met through a mutual friend, who was desperately trying to fuck her, and she quickly decided she was into me more than him. Knowing he was interested in her, I shut down her advances for several months. It was only when my friend and my future wife conspired to set us up on a date that I finally relented. In my mind, it wasn’t even supposed to be a date, it was supposed to be the three of us going out for drinks. That turned into a double date when his girlfriend decided to join us. By that point, it was too late to back out. When my future wife showed up for our first date, she looked amazing. I was 32 and had this hot little 22 year old smokeshow clearly into me. Our first date went very well and after several drinks at the bar, she asked if she could stay the night. How could I say no? She stayed the night and gave me numerous reasons to meet up with her again. Not unlike my previous two partners, this young lady was more experienced at 22 than I was at 32. (And by a very large margin). We talked openly about our pasts and she explained that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 18, but enjoyed sex so much she got as much as she could from 18 to 20 until she met a bad boy who claimed he was infertile due to a car accident and didn’t need to wear condoms. Yup, she got pregnant and he left. Being a single mom slowed her down for a little bit, but by the time we met, she was very comfortable being a soccer mom by day and minx at night. She wasn’t looking for a baby daddy when we met, but she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so it took me a while to be willing to agree to a serious relationship. Once I accepted that I lover her as much as she loved me, it wasn’t long before we were married and had two more children together and I adopted our oldest ....... Since day, my wife has been sexually adventurous. She did fuck a few other guys while we were figuring out if we were dating or not. I also fully expect she has pleasured a few men during the first ten years of our marriage without my knowledge. I have asked, but she claims she was faithful until we agreed for her to be a hotwife. For the past 8 years, she has had my support to play with other men and she has enjoyed the opportunity. She doesn’t have an exact count, but estimates she fucked around 50 men before marriage. We have kept track and she has added 30 more men since marriage. Meanwhile, my lifetime body count sits at three. Two women that I married and one college girlfriend of four years.

I am definitely a Type A person and have achieved everything I set out to in life. I also have a kinky side and while I never pursued promiscuous women, each of my lovers has been promiscuous. I suppose that’s likely because I essentially required the ladies to make the big move and promiscuous women are far more likely to do that. Ironically, I have turned down far more women than I have slept with, even though I was very attracted to the majority of the women I didn’t ...... with. It is really just now becoming interesting to me to fuck for sport in my early 50s and after watching my wife fuck for sport. The main thing stopping me now is that my wife is very jealous and isn’t comfortable sharing me. It was never a quid pro quo situation when we agreed for her to start playing. Both are mutually exclusive decisions. I am interested in variety after 18 years of monogamous sex.

My question for others is: Do you think it was just a matter of time before my stag tendencies came to light, or is it the environment of only dating promiscuous women that opened my eyes and mind to this? And how do other stag’s experiences compare to mine?

Our life stories are similar. I was raised to respect women, so it never occurred to me that I should and could be more aggressive about seeking sex. I thought a "date" meant going to a movie or out to dinner, but no sex until we fell in love. No surprise that I was a virgin until almost age 21, and my first sex happened when my GF invited me to her place for pizza and she jumped on me. Honestly, I did not feel attracted to her and our relationship did not last very long. I should add that, upon reflection, my lack of aggression in pursuing sex probably convinced people that I was gay. I recall several encounters with male and female friends who asked if there were any women that I liked or they expressed surprise when I showed desire for a particular woman. I did not think anything of it at the time, but I now believe that they suspected that I was gay, which probably did not help in my search for sex with women.

Fast forward to meeting my first wife, who I was attracted to. We had sex on the night that I first met her, which resulted in her getting pregnant. We married, but she cheated and lied about it. In retrospect, I wish that we had been honest about our sexual desires and that we explored the lifestyle. I am sure that she would have agreed to an open marriage in which we honestly communicated our desires and encouraged each other to fulfill them. I am sure that she would have agreed to the many sexual fantasies that circulated in the recesses of my brain. Unfortunately, I was still captive of the traditional marriage/family model and was unable to understand my true desires.

Anyway, after our divorce, I had difficulty with dating and sex. First off, I was really terrified about getting another woman pregnant, especially someone who did not really attract me. I remember bringing a woman home who really wanted sex badly, but then I asked myself what would happen should I get her pregnant. So, I gave her money to take a taxi home. Another big problem was that I wanted any GF to have all of the positive traits of my first wife (especially her sexual dynamism) but none of her bad traits (like being irresponsible with her children and always being high). I remember one woman who was great in bed, but wasn't too bright, so I stopped seeing her. Big mistake. Unfortunately, I was looking for the perfect partner. I should add that a couple of women really turned me on, but their ...... or alcohol problems prevented a long-term relationship.

Flash forward, I finally remarried as I realized that time was running out in my life. I married someone who is not very sexual (I honestly believe that she would prefer another woman as a sexual partner). Our sex is not great, and in my younger years I would never have considered marriage with her. It was after years of bad to no sex with her that I decided to make the plunge into man-to-man sex, and in particular me giving oral or bottoming (although not much of the latter). Perhaps, I was bi-sexual all along.

In any case, I think that my shyness and naiveté about sex as a young man probably shaped my desires for a hot wife, especially one who had sex with multiple men, gang bangs, etc. If I was bi all along, then that would have also been a factor shaping my desire for a wife who cuckolded me and had sex with lots of men. I think that women that are commonly called sluts attract me because their lack of sexual inhibitions give me the signal that it is okay for me to pursue sex with them. Women who are "proper" or pretend to be "proper" make me apprehensive about aggressively seeking sex. The so-called slutty women essentially give me a green light that I cannot fail to see. Likewise, a hot wife would give me the liberty to suggest and pursue sexual scenarios for the two of us that a traditional wife would outright reject. From my perspective, a hot wife would have been sexually liberating for me when I was a young man. Unfortunately, I did not understand that when I was young.